Children aren't silly; they will say it and show it how it is. Because they've yet to figure out how to fully pretend, there is not really a filter with them.
This is why they often can't be fooled by the narcissist, at least not their body language.
While the narcissist is busy pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, the children won't be able to hide how they really feel.
How they act will tell you everything you need to know.
1The faultless performance (except for the kids)
If there is a room to play in, the narcissist is going to be the best at it. From the second they step into it, they're making themselves be seen. Their energy screams:
I'm perfect! I'm charming! I'm so funny! I'm confident all the time.
If there is a family dinner to be had, the narcissist will arrive and act as though they're God's gift within minutes of arriving.
As you stand closeby, observing this performance that appears to be so faultless, you wonder hard (and understandably) if you've lost your whole mind.
I want to press here that you haven't. The proof you'll need that you haven't gone crazy is because while every adult is leaning in and falling for the narcissist's charm, the kids aren't.
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That's where I really want you to pay your attention. Cutting through the laughter of those who see no problem are children who are quiet. They've shrunk in the room, or they find a reason to leave because they don't want to be a part of it any more.
If you're looking closely, you can't fail to notice exactly what's going on, and the first time you do see it, you'll never be able to unsee it every other time you all get together.
2The way the children register a narcissist's presence is wild
Children are often seen as silly or immature, and while they may not be as emotionally regulated as us healthy adults, they do not miss a thing.
When a narcissist enters their environment, or the room they're in, something drastic happens. The change is just wild to me, because they pick up on that energy, and while they may not understand what a narcissist is, they understand how it feels to be around bad people.
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Adults can call it things like charisma or having a huge personality. Kids know and sense it as an entirely different thing, and before they can name it, they feel it in their bodies.
Kids can take themselves off to the toilet when the narcissist enters the room because they feel nervous, yet that nervousness can't be pinpointed yet.
They might also become really interested in their shoes, or the buttons on their top; anything to distract themselves from what's happening, and who's there.
They can hug, but in a way that's so stiff, it's like hugging cardboard. It doesn't look normal because it isn't; in that moment that's how uncertain and uneasy the child feels.
They don't rehearse it, this is simply a natural reaction to a terrible person from someone so young and innocent.
3Children who live with a narcissist will show it in every part of how they present
This one is big, and every day that passes, I get to hear more and more stories from people who have had to endure living with a narcissist from the moment they were born until the day they finally got to move out.
See also6 Everyday Things That Send a Narcissist Into a Full Mental Breakdown
It physically shows up, from stomach aches to shoulders that creep up so high, they almost cover their ears when the narcissist is near.
Their little eyes are constantly scanning the room, waiting to see when it feels safe, and when it feels dangerous. Checking for moods and energy shifts becomes second nature to these little ones, and they are only that way because they've had to be that way in order to survive.
Children are so full of intuition that there's no way any narcissist is able to truly gaslight them. They know deep down what's wrong and right, and observing narcissism the way they do means they get those warning signs in real time.
Usually that means their bodies will respond accordingly to what's going on, without knowing how to pretend everything is okay.
They know it isn't, and that's what they portray. Noticing it is always how you understand that a narcissist is never able to fool them…
…But here's more…
4While the audience believes the act, the kids won't
The audience is gathering around the narcissist. There is a happy energy that seems to be originating from the narcissist. They're making sure that positive vibes flood the room because that way, nobody will suspect what's really going on underneath that positivity.
There is so much toxicity from narcissists. They ruin absolutely everyone and everything they're given enough time to be around. Hiding that means painting on a thick gloss of charm so nobody suspects.
That means any get together, holiday or occasion becomes an opportunity for the narcissist to build their stage, climb on, and start the production.
Everyone claps, and thinks what a wonderful person they are.
Then you get the child into the picture; the child who has to drive home in the car with the narcissist. Unfortunately, from this moment on, that charm switch is turned off, and the child gets to see a completely different version of that very same person who not five minutes ago was the life and soul of the day.
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They've already seen what happens once the show is over a hundred times before, which is why often they're the ones to watch as the show is kicking off. They remember, and they're bracing for the negative, critical, shouting narcissist who nobody else sees.
You see, while you can fake yourself in a room full of people, you can't be fake in front of someone 24/7.
Kids know, and they can tell. They've spent their whole lives so far watching closely, and understand that masks are worn, and people change at the drop of a hat.
5The story the adults see is the story the kids live every day
That's what all of this is really about, right? The idea that a narcissist can fool adults, yet when it comes to children, they don't know the first thing about being able to trick them.
Those adults are seeing a moment in time, and of course, when rehearsed it's easy for the narcissist to be whatever they want to be.
Shiny and happy? Go for it. Charming and warm? Absolutely.
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Children aren't just present for the highlights. They're there for the whole game. Every scene is out there, and that includes all those times the doors slam, or they make mocking comments.
The next time you hear someone tell them that they think the narcissist is lovely, and that everyone adores them, think of the kids.
Those are the ones who know the truth.
You'll know from how they carry themselves, to what their bodies are quietly trying to tell you.
