The narcissist is keen for their wife to worship the ground they walk on. They want the full show; you are his biggest source of supply, and you must be there for him, stroking his ego. But wait, can you also make sure you speak up for him?

Can you cut his food into tiny pieces so he doesn't have to worry about choking on it? I'm kidding at that last part, but honestly, it's what it can feel like for people who thought they married a man, and ended up treating them like a child.

One woman told me she caught herself laying out her husband's clothes for a work trip, then realised she'd also been ironing his socks. Socks.

Let's get more into that.

1 "Who the heck do you think you're talking to?"

Don't you know who I am?! I find the entitlement in every single narcissist absolutely breathtaking, and not in a good way. They all genuinely believe they are God's gift to humanity, and that the whole house should revolve around them, and narcissistic husbands are some of the worst culprits.

And so every mood he has, his schedule day after day after day, everything that makes him comfortable, you have to manage it all, predict it all, and make it your life's work to be there for.

Even if you make his dinner and it's slightly late, you'll be treated as a major inconvenience, and you'll hear exactly what he thinks of you in order to embarrass and shame you for not keeping to his routine.

If the house doesn't look exactly how he likes it, it will all be your fault. Now we're here, I want to take you to the part that gets even more interesting…

This man, that man who demands the royal treatment, is the same man who is unable to manage the most basic responsibilities an adult has without falling to pieces. They crumble; they can't do it. Booking a doctor appointment. He doesn't recall where anything in the house is kept.

He hates those kinds of phone calls that are difficult. He can't figure out something without you right there next to him. Even with all of that going on, you're still accused of not showing him enough respect when he demands it (which will probably be all the time).

You're always to blame for something, and he will make sure you know about it.

So the man who cannot locate his own car keys is somehow qualified to lecture you on how to run a household. Make it make sense.

See also7 Weird Things Narcissists Do Right Before Bed That Would Creep Anyone Out

2 Being his wife meant taking on multiple jobs

Without even telling you, too. You've got to be the person who juggles it all, and you didn't sign up for that when you married him.

You thought you were entering a loving partnership, and instead, you got this kind of contract that makes you have all these jobs that are your responsibility, and it's supposed to still be called a marriage.

First job: You must always treat your narcissistic husband like the king he thinks he is. He will confirm that's what he thinks of himself with phrases thrown at you such as:

You never support anything I say or do. I work my ass off for this family, and I come home to this? A good wife would already know what to do. A good wife would understand me and anything I need.

Second job: You have to figuratively carry him like he is a big baby. Your appointment is at 2pm tomorrow. Don't forget it's bin day today. (To others) I'm sorry for how he spoke to you, he's just going through a lot of stress with work.

Did you manage to see that I filed all your last month's receipts for you? You manage his emotions when he cannot, which seems to be more often than not.

See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House

You take on all the jobs, all the weight of not only marrying a narcissistic man, but living with him, too. And it's exhausting. Not the kind of exhaustion a good night's sleep will solve, but the kind that slowly hollows you out over time.

You start looking older than you should. Your friends notice before you do. And when someone asks how you're doing, you say fine on autopilot.

3 Ego vs. petulance: the narcissist wants it all

Talk about two worlds colliding! The truth is, the narcissist world does collapse when you stop doing any jobs for them, and it will show you that they have this huge ego that cannot be tamed nor shrunk just because you want it to be.

When you stop doing their jobs for them, even after just one day, you'll notice:

First off, he will blow up. The eruption will be immediate, as soon as he sees you not playing your role. I cannot believe you! Why didn't you tell me about this? Why couldn't you do it? I trust you to handle these things!

You've made everything so much more complicated! You're getting to be so lazy. Why do I have to remind you to do these things you should already know to do? Ironic, isn't it? This is a man who wants to be known and seen as powerful.

He 'owns the house.' He is the 'breadwinner.' Without him, you'd all be 'nothing.'

Suddenly, he's claiming he can't survive a day without you in it, and if you aren't propping up, he is almost panicking about it. He's then angry with you because you're somehow slacking in departments he's quite capable of filling himself. The irony is so strong, isn't it?

See alsoThese 5 Family Backgrounds Create Narcissists. Never Marry Into One

Because at his core, he knows he can't do it. That's why the outrage is so loud. Volume is the cover for incompetence.

4 You were supposed to keep quiet about this

Don't question anything; that's supposed to be your motto. Your narcissistic husband likes you best when you're quiet and complying to whatever it is they're demanding of you.

Treating you as if you're the person who should be clearing up their mess is exactly why they love to know you are there, doing exactly that for them.

If you spot anything that doesn't make sense, you're supposed to ignore it and move on, not stand up and raise your hand. A king is supposed to be able to handle his emotions and deal with his responsibilities.

He can soothe his moods while asserting his strength in a way that is natural, not egotistical and conditional.

You aren't meant to be living with someone who wants all the perks of being a king while throwing his toys out of his pram the second you stop playing the part he 'hired' you for. A child cannot be a king, and a king cannot be a child.

These are two roles that when clashed together, cancel each other out immediately. Don't forget that.

The moment you speak up, you'll hear, "Why are you making this into such a big deal?" That line alone tells you everything about how he sees you.

5 Did you get employed? I don't think so!

The love you thought you had wasn't based on a mutual feeling, it was based on what your narcissistic husband wanted from you. You're a commodity. You signed an agreement the day you got married, while you thought it was a lifelong commitment with your one true love.

You soothe him, you cook, you manage, you initiate, you arrange, you remember everything, you are always apologizing. And him? All he does is expect a round of applause just for existing.

You are not his assistant or mother, yet you fill both those job titles daily, and it's something that stands to only make you exhausted. You've been spending all your time doing the jobs of two people, and that was something you were never supposed to be doing.

And where was the job interview? Where was the salary discussion? You woke up one day inside a role you never applied for, with no way to hand in your notice.

See alsoA Narcissist Can Replace Partners and Friends, but There Is One Audience They Cannot Live Without

6 The bedroom becomes another chore on your list

Intimacy with a narcissistic husband stops feeling like intimacy pretty fast. It becomes another item you tick off, another mood you have to manage, another way to keep the peace before bed.

He wants it when he wants it, and if you're tired, distracted, or just not in the mood, expect a sulk or a snide comment about how you've "changed." One woman said her husband would go days barely speaking to her after she turned him down once, and she found herself initiating just to make the silence stop.

That isn't desire, that's damage control.

And notice how the effort only ever runs one way. He doesn't ask what you want. He doesn't check in on how you feel afterwards. You're expected to perform, respond, reassure, and then go straight back to the mental list of everything else you're carrying for him.

What was supposed to be closeness turns into another job. Another place he takes from you and calls it love.

7 His mother did it all, and now you're supposed to as well

His mother waited on him hand and foot. She cut the crusts off his sandwiches into his teenage years. She picked his clothes up off the bedroom floor without ever asking him to do it himself.

She told him he was special, gifted, better than the other boys, and she meant every word.

See alsoTHIS is What Makes Narcissists

And now you've inherited that whole operation.

She trained him to expect a woman to orbit him. You didn't stand a chance the moment you walked into his life, because the blueprint was set decades before you met. You're not his wife in the way you thought you'd be.

You're the sequel to a very long running production, and she was the original lead.

Sometimes she's still around too, calling to check he's eaten, reminding you about his allergies as if you don't already have a colour coded list. Sometimes she comments on how you fold his shirts. Sometimes she praises you, but only when you're doing exactly what she used to do.

You didn't marry a man. You inherited a routine, with two directors watching your performance.