Think about it:
I mean everyone. From your best friend to your aunt, to your sibling, to anyone who used to call you every Sunday who now has nothing at all to say to you.
All this time you were left wondering what on earth you did wrong, when all you had to do was look at the one person; the one cause.
Narcissists turn the entire world against you, but the one take home message I want you to grab from this is that they still always lose.
I want that to sink in.
1 You had no idea their sick campaign had even started
No victim knows when a narcissist starts to turn the whole world against them, but it does start long before you even raise a single suspicion.
Your time with the narcissist will have had you spending it trying to keep the peace wherever you could. You would do whatever it took for them to be in a good mood. You'd cook the right foods, you'd make sure the house was tidy, you'd even get their work clothes ready to ease their morning stress. While you were doing that, what was the narcissist doing?
They were busy making sure everybody knew all the 'worries' they were feeling about you. It was never outright hate (unless it was to particular, equally toxic people), but instead became more about saying things like, "I'm worried about them." "You know, they're struggling financially." "I didn't want to say anything, but I think you should know that..."
These little sentence starters plant seeds in people's heads, and that's exactly what the narcissist wants to do in order to kickstart their campaign.
Each person spoken to was a recruit in some way; someone they can check in with at a later date, or someone who can keep an eye on you and start to think the same over time.
Narcissists are soft here, and offer a version of themselves that acts concerned, when really they just want to play havoc with your reputation, and of course, people believe them. Why wouldn't they?
Soon enough, you feel distance between yourself and everyone else you know, all because those recruits have decided to back off.
2 To make you lonely was the narcissist's entire agenda
I hate to say it, but the loneliness of a person who has to deal with a narcissist will be coming via the narcissist themselves. There's nothing random about you looking around and feeling as though nobody else is with you, or supporting you like you were before you met this person.
You have nobody to talk to, and nobody who can realistically check in with you about life any more, and that gets deeper when you think about what else you don't have:
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House- Nobody listening to you talk about your experiences
- Nobody validating anything that you're living through
- Nobody says, "It sounds awful what you're going through."
You're there, just you, and it won't take long before doubt really sets in, and you wonder if all along, maybe the narcissist was actually right?!
If you had a full and proper support system, you would be so much harder to control, right? That's the whole point.
That support system, as far as the narcissist is concerned, had to go.
You're left alone.
3 This pain is so hard to explain to people
I know for many of you, you've had chances to open up about your experiences and tell people how it felt, and what it was like to be in a place where it was you vs. the world.
You can't say the narcissist lied, because it'll make you look like you're trying to defend something. You'd scream instability.
What else is there to do other than to go quiet? If that's what you choose, you'll look guilty, so you realize then that you're in this trap; this story that the narcissist told about you, and you don't know what to do next.
You don't want the story that you're crazy or sensitive or angry to be what others believe, but what are your options now?
As hard as it is, lots of victims end up sitting with their pain and experiences, feeling sunken that nobody could possibly have the first clue what they had to endure.
You can feel alone, and I totally get how that can make you feel over time. When it feels as though the whole world is against you, that can feel hard enough without the added challenge of knowing that it's all down to the narcissist.
It feels as though they get away with so much, while you're left struggling with the pain of it all.
That's not fair.
4 The narcissist's lies need maintaining, and that is difficult for them
When you build a personality based on a crumbling foundation of lies, you're asking for trouble immediately. The reason for that is just how badly you actually have to maintain it every day. You have to remember what you've said, who you've said it to. You have to recall every version of yourself for every person you speak to so that you stay consistent and don't slip up.
It's exhausting even just thinking about it.
Narcissists aren't the most patient of people, either. They don't do well with consistency, and that's where you'll find the mask slipping. The stories they tell you and other people stop adding up, and before you know it, people (maybe you) start comparing notes of their experiences.
It won't happen right away, but trust me, there will come a time people will piece it all together, and the narcissist will end up falling short.
That's where they lose, but it is the long game you have to play, and that's where unfortunately, it can take time.
But boy, is it worth it? Yes it is!
When you can talk to someone else who has been through what you've experienced, it is a very validating moment that confirms you were never the one to blame.
That's where your name and the reputation the narcissist painted on it doesn't look like it did when they were in charge.
5 The narcissist lost
Before we get to the fact that the narcissist lost, I know you will have lost out. You lost friends and relatives, people who you really loved and trusted. That is a genuine loss, and I know that sitting with it can be difficult.
See also THIS is What Makes NarcissistsLook at the narcissist though. They have a circle of people around them who only like who they pretend to be. All their friendships are built on lies, and those lies will catch up with them at some point. It might not be tomorrow, next week, or even next month, but it will happen eventually.
When those people figure out they've been lied to, they will leave just like everyone else.
Those relationships were never solid, so as you sit there feeling like everyone is against you, you'll talk some day.
Until then, rest assured the narcissist is continuing to create even more damage for themselves.
