And trust me:

She's got it all! If, reading this you think, "Wow, I want to be this woman," let me just say this:

You can be this woman! She stops that ego dead in its tracks. And don't get me wrong, there is no shouting involved, nor is there a chasing situation that leaves her feeling like she's doing all the work, and has nothing to show for it.

This woman exists, and she is proud of it, and anything the narcissist does just rolls right off her.

And the best part? She isn't performing this for anyone. She isn't proving a point. It's just who she is when she wakes up in the morning.

Nothing pains him more; let's look in more detail.

1 Sure of herself? Sure of her mind? Double check!

The truth is, a narcissistic man loves a 'weak woman.' By weak, I mean to them, not literally. Weak to them means someone who will happily change their mind to align with the narcissist. Someone whose mood and emotions they can control. A woman easily manipulated.

Someone who will walk around the house as if they're walking on eggshells, just to try to manage their latest outburst or bout of silent treatment. For him, that woman is weak because she's so easily edited.

To you, you're strong; you just want the relationship to work, so you're doing whatever it takes to make it happen and be so. The second a narcissist meets a woman who is so certain of who she is and sure of herself, that's when the cracks start to show.

Immediately, there is an obvious shift in him as he feels uncomfortable. With this woman, there are no dark corners he can find to manipulate her in. He can't find a weak spot he can trap her with. Even the usual phrases will fall on her deaf, unbothered ears:

God, you're so sensitive. Can't you take a joke? Why does everything have to be such a big deal with you? This woman, rather than fall over herself to say sorry or try to make it better, will simply shrug. She doesn't care.

She hears what he's saying, but none of it lands. She knows herself too well to be moved or maintained by the opinions of anyone else, least of all someone so clearly trying to cause trouble.

See also7 Signs Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Develop a Rare Kind of Trauma Intelligence

She's clear on what's happening, and that's where the narcissist is unable to chip away at her. He has nothing in front of him he can work with.

I had a client tell me once that her ex kept saying she'd changed. She hadn't. She'd just stopped shrinking, and he couldn't stand the sight of her upright.

2 She doesn't even think about competing for his attention

I love this one! It really riles a narcissistic man when a woman is not bothered about competing with him. Women especially can be a problem to men with an overly-inflated ego because they are already seen as the weaker, smaller sex.

That misogyny makes them resent any woman, but in particular resentment grows and extends when that woman is strong and sure of who she is. The average victim of narcissistic abuse will constantly be trying to make everything okay.

She will want to smooth it all over if there's drama rising, and she will always wonder what she said wrong. This one type of woman that I'm discussing? She skips all of that. She doesn't care.

Competing isn't her style, and she doesn't stand up and feel the need to prove herself, not ever. She's not interested in winning his approval, or to be validated by him.

See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House

You know, this is the kind of thing he will be able to pick up on immediately, and it terrifies him. He gets so frustrated because his life's worth depends on being the best.

He can only be the best if he is in competition with others, and can be compared. Without that, there's no game, and it's you who decides that, not him.

And when there's no game, the narcissist has no idea who he even is. Strip away the competition, and what's actually left of him? Not much, honestly.

3 The narcissist speaks, and she hears everything

You know I'm not like all the other guys, right? You're lucky I tolerate you the way I do. I don't know a single other person who'd love you the way I do.

Now, these are the kind of phrases that a person can hear and believe, and over time, that's got to be difficult to keep hearing on loop.

This type of woman completely transforms these phrases, and instead of absorbing them, she smiles politely, almost sarcastically, and makes a mental note of each one. There's no drama, just the need to remember what she's hearing because she hears that silent undertone.

Narcissists say these things to scare them and almost compliment them in a way, but not if you are this particular woman. There are real meanings behind each phrase like the above and similar, and I find them quite dangerous for any woman to hear day in and day out.

Think of it like this; if you are hearing the real version, then there's no way you can be manipulated by what's being said. If the truth is hitting you, then nothing is left for interpretation. That makes these types of omen some of the most dangerous to the narcissist.

See also9 Things Happy People Never Do... But Narcissists Do Every Day

They're counting on being believed, not being figured out. Suddenly, the narcissist's entire operation is intercepted, and by a woman. The narcissist's worst nightmare, as most narcissistic men are complete misogynists.

She isn't arguing with him. She isn't correcting him. She's just quietly cataloguing every word for later, and that quiet is the thing that makes his skin crawl.

4 Boundaries? Set in stone!

Because she means them! Boundaries are good for anybody who is dealing with a narcissist, but this woman we're discussing today has strong boundaries that cannot be moved or shook by any narcissistic man. They hate that.

These aren't the kind of boundaries she holds then drops the moment the narcissist sulks. These are real, immovable values that she promised herself she would retain, no matter the circumstance. No, that won't work for me. I don't want to continue this, and I'm not going to.

He will push, trust me. He wants to see how strongly you hold your words, and what it will take for you to back down. The charm, the rage, the coldness; it will all ramp up at different times.

Don't even be surprised if he pretends there's some kind of emergency just to get you to react. This woman holds her own. She makes sure nothing catches her off guard; she's seen it all before. Eventually he retreats like the loser he is.

Sound familiar? That pushing, testing, poking, until you cave from sheer exhaustion. This woman doesn't cave. She said what she said, and that's the end of the conversation.

5 Anger doesn't intimidate her

Oh, I love this one. For all the reasons a narcissistic man will try to intimidate, he will use his anger every time. Whether it's direct, or indirect, he will make sure he gets his point across, and he hopes he makes his victim feel fearful and small.

Anger doesn't intimidate this kind of woman. She barely flinches when he shouts, if anything, she simply looks on, unimpressed. She decides fear doesn't get to dictate her emotions any more, and she doesn't even try to apologize to him for his moods.

His moods are his to carry. She figured that out a long time ago, and no amount of door slamming or cold shoulder is going to change her mind.

6 Fix him or leave? Leave please… now!

What do you think you need to do? Yeah, leave. If the choice were wasting your life staying to try to fix him, or to walk away and have some kind of a life post-abuse, then choose the latter.

It might not be that you heal right away, but you have every right to start, and be someone no narcissistic man can mess with again.

See also9 Smart Moves To Make Before You Leave The Narcissist

Fixing him was never your job. It was never even possible. The only person you get to rebuild from scratch is you, and honestly, that's the better project.

7 She Laughs. Actually Laughs.

Not a nervous laugh. Not the polite little chuckle women get trained into when a man is being difficult. A proper, from the belly laugh at something ridiculous he just said or did.

And it undoes him completely. Because a narcissistic man weaponises seriousness. He needs you to treat his moods, his threats, his cold stares as significant events. The moment you laugh, all of that weight just evaporates.

The whole scary performance turns into what it actually was the whole time: a grown man throwing a tantrum in a nice shirt.

He might snap, "What's so funny?" She'll say, "You. Honestly, you." And she means it.

Laughter also signals something he can't stomach. It means she isn't scared. It means she sees the absurdity in what he's doing. It means she's not managing his ego, she's watching it from a safe distance and finding it a bit silly.

You can't manipulate someone who thinks you're a joke. And nothing shrinks a narcissistic man faster than being genuinely, unmistakably laughed at by a woman who isn't apologising for it.

See alsoTHIS is What Makes Narcissists

8 Silent Treatment? She'll Take the Peace, Thanks

The silent treatment is one of his sharpest tools. He goes cold, stops replying, walks past her in the kitchen like she's furniture, and waits. He's waiting for the panic to set in. The apology. The over explaining. The, "Please, just tell me what I did."

This woman does none of that. She notices the silence, clocks it, and gets on with her day. She reads her book. She goes for a walk. She calls her sister and laughs about something completely unrelated.

If he wants to sit in a mood for three days, that's his time to waste, not hers.

And here's what really gets under his skin. She actually enjoys it. The house is quieter. Nobody is picking fights or making digs. She can think properly without walking on eggshells. What was meant to be a punishment turns into a small holiday for her.

By the time he decides to break the silence, she's rested, calm, and less interested in him than she was before. The weapon backfired completely.