You have lived every single part of the narcissist's danger, from feeling it every day, to living every moment like you're walking on eggshells, worried about their next move, comment, or criticism.
You know the level of their capability, but I want to direct you toward a person in this little story that people aren't mentioning nearly enough about.
This is the person who knows, and who sees everything playing out.
They want to be the villain.
They don't care about anything else, and let me tell you; those are the kinds of people who are even more dangerous.
1This person will blow your mind
Everybody knows a narcissist. Everybody knows someone who will stop at nothing to make the lives of others hell.
Everyone therefore, knows someone who is willing to play the role the narcissist needed them to play. Stepping up like this takes a different kind of person; a person who steps up and creates scenes you couldn't possibly imagine.
For you, that might mean someone who heard your name mentioned in a negative way, and decided to throw their own toxic perception of you into the mix. Perhaps it was a relative who knew the truth, who knew the narcissist and what they're capable of, and chose to side with them anyway.
They looked you in the eye and still went with what wasn't right.
Then there would be the coworker, who heard all the lies and instead of standing up and saying how unfair it was, chose to help cover up those lies and keep you looking like the bad guy.
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The smear campaign kicked in. You felt even more isolated than ever.
This wasn't and isn't something these people do by accident, they know exactly what's going on, and they actively choose to play that role.
Pretty scary, isn't it? If there is anyone worse than an abuser, it's someone who sees it all and turns a blind eye, helping the narcissist accomplish what they want to accomplish.
2Narcissists need people all around them
It's a fact that narcissists are unable to work alone. There is simply too much for them to do without the help of others leaning into their manipulation and games.
See also5 Passive Aggressive Tactics Narcissists Use That You'd Never Recognize As Abuse
That's why there are certain people in their lives they will recruit in order to do their dirty work. They need people to carry stories about them. They want to know that there are enough people out there who will back them up if their story starts to fall apart.
I don't know why they treat me this way. They've always seemed to be unstable to me. I'm not surprised it's turned out this way. I feel like they're just looking for attention. I kind of feel sorry for them.
These phrases aren't accidental; they mean something to the narcissist, and that's why they end up falling out of someone else's mouth so easily.
Seeing as narcissists are such dangerous people, they are always the ones who want to make sure that they're getting under your skin. The trouble is, they are predictable as soon as you realize what they're doing.
You see the person you're dealing with, and that seems to be their tactics that fall down to the point where you can kind of start to get the upper hand in some ways.
Being the willing villain? That's a different story completely. These people come disguised, and you think their intentions are always going to be good.
You thought it was someone you could trust, and who would even believe you, but they show their true faces. They don't have a real reason to hurt you; they just love to blindside you with what they're capable of, and I think this can be what always takes victims by surprise.
You never see it coming.
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3The choice was theirs, and they made it
Sadly, all villains have a choice. They can either do what's right, or stick with the person they know they will have an easier life sticking with.
If you defy a narcissist, go against what they are saying or telling you, or even stand up to them, the result can be a world of pain.
I know. I've done it. I've seen it. I've experienced it myself in my lifetime.
It seems better for many people to just side with the toxic one of everybody, the narcissist.
And narcissists operate from an extremely unpleasant place. They are fractured, and so is their world. They are compulsive people who for one second, never think about fixing themselves.
The villain sees it all and still chooses to be on the side of the narcissist. It's so weird to me that they have all the information they need in order to make the right call, and they go with what's more toxic instead.
The side they pick will never be yours, knowing full well the world of pain it would cost you to not have them on your side; the right side.
I don't know how anyone can make this kind of conscious decision, but people do every single day, and it's anything but loyal to the right person.
Morally, they've got no leg to stand on.
4The villain fuels the narcissist like you'd never believe
Well, we all know how much fuel a narcissist needs to successfully run on, don't we?
Fuel is people watching them, and the audience they can't survive without needs to come from somewhere. Once that audience is in place, people will start to believe the stories the narcissist tells them; the narrative they want to put out into the world.
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Without people, there is no way of spreading any of it.
I've seen for myself how moments like this can crumble narcissists, but most of the time, what they rely on, they make sure they have.
With a villain in their life working for them, they have someone to pour gas on the fire to keep it fuelled. They have someone who can reinforce every single story they tell, and to spread the word that you're the bad person and always were.
It won't matter that what's being said about you is categorically false, the narcissist will just want word out there, and people will start paying attention in their favor.
For you, this is anything but good, and you won't be able to understand how one person is so incessant on making your life miserable.
It's because they think they're getting something back from the narcissist, but in reality, they're being used just like everyone else. They just don't realize it (or don't want to realize it).
5Give yourself permission to see the villain for who they really are
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At times, we really do work so hard to try to understand the narcissist that this happens:
We excuse everyone else who had their role to play, and indeed, played it.
If you see someone clearly, and or the villain they really are, that doesn't make you a bitter person. You're just being honest and awakening to reality.
The narcissist always needs a villain, and the villain decided it was right for them.
You learn so much in that moment of realization, trust me.
