Empaths aren't known as dangerous people, but I need you to dig as deeply as you can for this one, because that belief couldn't be further from the truth.
While they're spending years being told they're too much, too needy, too emotional or forgiving; something one day just changes.
It's never overnight, but instead, the empath eventually learns to stop saying sorry. They don't want to explain any more. They see the bait, and they refuse to bite it.
No doors need to slam with empaths; just a quiet closure; a quiet ending.
They don't take on the discomfort of other people and claim responsibility for it. Empaths are dangerous, not due to their need for revenge, but for something much worse. Empaths no longer need to play the role they were given.
1Empaths stop doing this
Years, I'm talking years. That's how long it can take for an empath to finally wake up and smell the coffee.
All that energy, time and love they've poured into someone who had no intention of prospecting or loving them came at a cost. Every day was filled with:
That's not what I meant. I wasn't trying to make you upset. I am so sorry. Please give me a chance to explain. I promise I wasn't trying to be difficult.
It used to feel so trapping, and now it feels nothing but liberating, which is a very happy, new place to be.
If you have someone who is determined to misunderstand you, you give up trying to give them the best explanation they deserve because it's just impossible; it will never work in your favor.
If you were to hand over all the evidence in the world, offer them the best kind of presentation to support it all, the narcissist would roll their eyes and tell you that you're still wrong.
Empaths stop. They just learn to stop, and they feel so much better for it, too.
With that comes saying what they mean as often as they can.
See alsoStop Wondering What's Wrong With You. These 10 Stress Symptoms Come From Narcissistic Abuse
2The danger behind refusing the narcissist's bait
There is a danger, and I want to touch on that a little bit.
If you're going to provoke someone, that provocation is only going to manifest if the other person becomes provoked.
If they respond, bingo. That's exactly what they wanted in the first place, right? For them, it's the perfect thing.
Years of getting pulled into these pathetic arguments that go nowhere, being accused of things they didn't do, having thick guilt trips laid on them; it all creates this emotional chaos that's awful.
At one point, it has to stop, and it does.
Empaths powerfully learn that they have a choice. They also believe something very wise:
See also5 Passive Aggressive Tactics Narcissists Use That You'd Never Recognize As Abuse
You don't have to respond because not everyone deserves it.
There is an insult thrown their way, but they realize they don't have to answer it at all. They're accused, and they don't care, so they don't defend.
I could go on forever, but ultimately, they think, "I'm just not doing this today. In fact, I'm not doing this ever."
They walk away, because it feels like the right thing to do.
3An empath always trusts their own memory
And long may it continue, too!
Trusting your own memory means you never fall under the spell of a narcissist.
When you're stuck in an abusive dynamic with a narcissist, the first thing they're going to do to manipulate you is to make you question yourself. It will be so regular that before you know it, you're wondering why you think the things you think, and if what you thought happened, really did.
You'll wonder if you're being too sensitive or needy, and before long, you will be able to gaslight yourself without the narcissist even being in the same room as you.
See also7 Weird Feelings That Often Show Up Around Narcissists
Being programmed to not trust yourself means you always end up falling back into the arms of the very person you should be running from: the narcissist. They love to know that you can't live without them or trust your own judgement, so you ask them for theirs (which we all know is toxic).
Perhaps I got that wrong. Did I imagine that? I think I'm probably exaggerating again. I'm the cause of this fight. I misunderstood the signs.
As soon as an empath catches on to what's happening, they will never allow any person to cloud their memory again. Patterns become so impossible to ignore, and they recognize the cycle and step well clear of it.
You've been there, you've been that person.
Now you're someone insistent on thriving with your memory trusted and intact.
4Disappointment? An empath doesn't care
They're comfortable with it! An empath doesn't care if they feel uncomfortable, because they realize someone else's disappointment is both not their problem and not the emergency they were sold.
Take saying no, for example. The narcissist can say it, and you as the victim may feel guilty when you clock their disappointment.
You want to do everything you can to fix it, so you overcompensate. You compliment them. You try to smooth out the cracks of conflict.
An empath just carries on making their own decisions. They aren't rude about it, they just don't stop to think that they need to do as they're told through guilt or urgency.
If this is you, you're not cold; you're anything but. You've simply stopped making the reactions of other people be your instructions for life, and that's a huge milestone to make.
5Closure no longer needs to be chased
Hands up who wishes they could gain closure from their abuse?
There is no magic wand I or anyone else can wave to make that happen; closure has to come from you.
If it helps, think like an empath.
They aren't interested in heartfelt apologies, or waiting for someone to say what they need to hear. Healing doesn't come from the reliance on someone else to admit they made a mistake; it comes from stopping waiting, and creating their own ending.
See also8 Things Every Narcissist Lies About on Autopilot
If someone is reliant on you being tangled up in their chaos, it's you who can step out anytime you like.
If you do, you'll be the one person the narcissist is immediately unable to control.
Sounds ideal, doesn't it?
What are you waiting for?
Start being dangerous to the narcissist, not out of revenge, out of the need to be the main character in your life, and refuse their presence in it.
6Empaths get mad
Instead of being afraid of big feelings such as anger, an empath can see that anger has its place, and that it contains information they soon start listening to.
You aren't unkind, you aren't behaving unacceptably. You're refusing to tolerate someone treating you like garbage, and you put a stop to it.
You finally realize that you deserve better, and you start pouring all that love into yourself instead of a pointless, non-existent relationship.
See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House
Your priority is you.
7Being 'the good one' was so yesterday
Empaths don't want to be bad, they want to see a situation for how it honestly is, not what they constantly hope for it to be.
I think that's where the transformation is at its most powerful, don't you?
You don't care about being the good person, so you stop chasing, trying, hoping, wishing, and waiting.
You're done.
