Watching a narcissist soar through life without anybody touching them or their ego is a hard pill to swallow, but I want to let you know that under no uncertain terms does that last for their entire life.
In fact, there will come a time where their downfall is inevitable, and that you cannot help but enjoy watching it in slow motion.
Getting away with everything is always going to end up hitting them in the face, and if you're ready for that (which I hope you are), then here are the 7 biggest signs to look out for.
And honestly? Once you know what you're looking for, you start spotting the cracks everywhere. Little slips, small tells, moments where the mask isn't quite sitting right anymore.
1 To try to keep it together, they work way too hard
A narcissist will go through life easily linking one excuse to the other. Their stories seem fine, smooth if anything. They comment that nothing is ever their fault, and that they're trying their best in all aspects.
The problem is, eventually that all starts to wear thin, and the narcissist has to work extra hard to be seen and heard in those same ways. Soon enough, excuses will need to be louder, stories will need to become as far fetched as possible while still remaining believable.
They start to have to defend themselves, or point out that you're the problem on a more regular basis. I didn't say that, you're trying to twist things again.
Or my personal favourite, "Everyone agrees with me, you're the one making this weird." Everyone? Who exactly? They can never name a single person when you push.
You seem to be the only one who has a problem with me. That's because you've picked up on it all, and you're no longer willing to stand by and watch them lie through their teeth all the time. This is sign number one of the narcissist's downfall.
It points to this kind of energy that has become frantic because they are desperate to control everything going on around them, and they know they're losing that fast.
There's nothing confident about that; just someone who knows their time is running out, and that they can no longer hold themselves up with their exaggerations and lies any longer.
2 People begin asking those questions
You know the ones:
Something feels off. I want to talk to you about your work presentation, because it feels like you rushed it. Think of anything that someone could pull a narcissist up on, and add that to the above, because it will all count the same.
When someone has asked the question, it means somewhere along the line, two people have compared notes about the narcissist. They've seen that it doesn't add up, and they want answers. It only ever takes one time, too.
The narcissist will be so taken aback that they won't quite know how to respond in a way that doesn't draw further negative attention to themselves.
When this happens, it can be the open door somebody else needs to nod along and agree, speaking of something similar they went through with the narcissist. Cue the downfall…
A narcissist can only contain other people's perception of them for so long. Soon enough, those perceptions come from real experiences that form opinions the narcissist will be less than happy with. Rather than admit fault, they continue to make life difficult for everyone, and that's where the problem lies.
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their HouseAnd the more difficult they make it, the more people compare notes. One quiet question becomes two, then five, then a whole group wondering how they missed it.
3 Their supply is starting to fracture and thin out
One of my personal favorites, so I am very happy to get into this one. When a narcissist's downfall has begun, it will be down to the fact that the supply they've counted on all this time has started to fall apart.
They need people; a constant stream of them, too. They want people to fear them, need them, believe them, love them, defend them, appease them. To manage all of that takes such a huge amount of strength, but a narcissist is willing and able, to a point.
Eventually, yes, the well here runs dry, and the narcissist panics. Friends will drift away, realizing that there are less than ideal patterns being played out. Relatives see those missed calls and texts, but they don't immediately jump to answer or reply quickly. People start to think for themselves.
You see, over time even the most patient and loyal people in the narcissist's world start to get tired. They get to the point where they've had enough, and they don't want to be a part of this game any more.
The narcissist's demands then ramp up, and they push hard against this new distance, which inevitably pushes people even further away. The collapse will happen, it's just a case of watching, waiting, and listening for the crumble.
And when it does, expect the desperate texts. "I don't know what I did wrong, everyone's just being weird lately." No, they're finally seeing you clearly.
4 Their obsession over you becomes unstoppable
This is an interesting one that I don't think many people even consider. If the narcissist is so happy that you've moved on or gone no-contact, why are they still talking about you? Why are they looking you up on social media every hour of the day?
Why are they still asking people about you? I'm totally over it. Yeah, it really sounds like it to me…
People who are over something really do move on. They don't want to be reminded of these people, especially if they caused trouble or have bad memories attached to them. This is an obsession.
More than that, it's fear; fear that you're doing just fine without them and that all those years they spent ripping your soul apart, you're now fixing and learning to live a life where you thrive. Fear like this marks the beginning of the end for the narcissist.
They know their time playing these games is almost up, and that loss of control is what sends them into overdrive. It's times like this that you don't have to do a single thing except sit back and enjoy the show you've waited all this time to see.
I had a client show me a screenshot once, her ex viewing her story at 3am, every night for a month. She said, "He's the one who left me." Right.
5 They slip up more and more
With everything, and once this starts happening, it will become more and more regular, believe me. Narcissists aren't very good at getting back up after they've tripped. They stay on the ground, wondering how to prevent themselves from tripping a second, third or fourth time.
Tripping up like this is embarrassing. They let slip something that proves they've lied, they let more than one person down at the same time, they forget rules and conditions, and before you know it, everyone can see.
And once other people notice, the whispers start. "Wait, didn't they say the opposite last week?" That's the sound of a reputation cracking in real time.
It's a downfall that equates to being some kind of slippery slope, and they know they're on it. The narcissist's ego will try to deny all of this, and that's what can make it so difficult for them to handle.
They know they're falling apart, and they just don't know which way to turn. This doesn't just happen once, it happens so frequently that it really is like watching a car crash in slow motion.
You can see it happening, you know there are going to be people suffering, and there's nothing you can do about it. Tell me honestly; do you want to do anything about it?! I wouldn't!
Let their downfall be what it needs to be to bring them down once and for all.
6 Their body starts to give them away
Have you ever noticed how the narcissist walks into a room like they own it? Well, that swagger starts to fade when the downfall kicks in.
The body knows before the mouth admits anything. You'll see it in the shoulders that used to be pulled back, now a little rounder. The jaw that used to be set, now twitching. Dark circles under the eyes because sleep is not their friend anymore.
Some of them start looking older almost overnight. Others suddenly can't sit still, tapping their foot, checking their phone every thirty seconds, cracking their knuckles.
And then there's the health stuff. Mystery aches, stomach problems, headaches they never had before. The stress of holding up the mask is exhausting, and the body eventually says, "I'm done carrying this."
I had a reader message me once saying her ex looked "hollow" the last time she saw him. That word stuck with me because it's exactly right. The performance is still running, but the person underneath is running on fumes.
7 Money troubles start showing up out of nowhere
Suddenly the credit card gets declined at dinner. The car they were so proud of gets quietly traded in for something cheaper. They stop suggesting the fancy restaurant and start picking places with a happy hour menu.
You start noticing little things. A late notice on the counter they try to hide. A phone call they take in another room, voice low, tone tense. Money they swore was coming never quite arrives.
And here's what's interesting. Narcissists tie so much of their identity to what they can display. The watch, the car, the holiday photos, the "I just bought this" energy. When the money dries up, the display dries up with it. There's nothing left to point at.
They'll blame the economy. They'll blame a business partner who "screwed them over." They'll blame you for spending too much, even when you barely spent a thing.
But underneath the blaming, something is quietly falling apart. The image was expensive to maintain, and they can't afford it anymore.
