Are you a super empath? I would bet there is quite a high number of you that would tick all the boxes, and if that's the case, you will have become everything the narcissist tried to keep you from becoming.
You went from fearful to fearless, and all because you woke up to what was happening. The old you left the building immediately, and the new you has never looked back. Here's what happens when you do awaken to the narcissist abuse, and why it makes you a super empath.
And honestly, watching a super empath come into their own is one of the best things I get to witness. The narcissist spent years trying to prevent exactly this.
1 The lowdown on the super empath
The super empath may be a new concept to you, so if it is, allow me to introduce you to this person. Maybe you'll recognize everything you're about to read, and if that's the case, maybe you are one.
A super empath is not simply someone who feels more deeply than others.
They're far more complex people; they felt they got crushed by toxic people over and over again until they came out of it all on the other side knowing exactly who you are and how strong you are. You know what you're made of.
A super empath has so much spirit; they forge their path and carve it out without anybody stopping them. The narcissist tries to break them, and for a small time, the super empath suffers until one day, they stand up and fight back.
Not in a cruel or calculated way, but in a way that protects themselves, and defends their character.
And when they finally speak up, it's often quiet. A simple, "No, that's not how it happened," and the whole game the narcissist built starts wobbling. Sound familiar?
The narcissist hates this; they have no idea what they've done and what they've created in this person, yet by the time they see it, it's too late. The super empath is already towering over the narcissist in power, and there's nothing that will change that.
2 Purposely shrinking you
Over time, you'll notice the narcissist getting on your case, making you feel helpless to their abuse. Super empaths take it and take it. The narcissist wants to make them as small as possible, and this is a good way to make that happen. You'd be nothing without me.
In truth, you will be everything without the narcissist. If you're the super empath, you tolerate these statements for so long, and they get truly under your skin. A small person is easy to control, and that's a narcissist's dream.
You doubt yourself and every decision you have to make, and all because someone has gotten into your head and made you feel like you're confused all the time. You check with them before you do anything, and that's the whole reason why a narcissist loves these types of people.
I had a client tell me once she couldn't even pick a coffee order without texting him first. Small things. That's how deep the shrinking gets.
As an empath by nature, a super empath will do what they can to ease conflict and create peace, until they realize who they've been up against all this time.
3 The moment you stop shrinking
At some point or another, the super empath is very good at stopping looking for the narcissist's approval. It might be over something pretty big, or it may be one small moment where you as the super empath decided that you've had enough.
There was a time where you flinched when the narcissist was around, but that doesn't happen any more. With that came the brilliant feeling of knowing that you are no longer explaining yourself, or apologizing for things you haven't done.
You sometimes feel as though you have to say sorry for breathing, well, that is no more. The fog has cleared. Where the narcissist once mocked or criticized you for doing something and you stopped doing that thing, you've started again, and this time, nothing will stop you.
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their HouseYou pick out the clothes you want to wear, and you speak up where you were usually told to stay quiet.
One client told me the first time she ordered her own drink without checking his face first, she almost cried in the restaurant. Small thing, huge shift.
The narcissist is seeing it all, and you will not see a face drop as quickly as theirs when this happens.
4 The way you become everything the narcissist tried to prevent drives them insane, here's why
The narcissist tried to prevent your character, your personality from blossoming and growing from the moment they met you. Their whole identity was built to purposely be bigger than yours, no matter how much you may have tried to fight that in the past.
You gave up, succumbing to the belief that you were never meant for big things in this lifetime. You weren't allowed success, you weren't allowed to thrive, you weren't allowed to be authentically happy.
The narcissist cannot stand the fact that you've pulled all of this down and replaced it with a brand new you, one who will defy abuse and limitations. You succeed and thrive all over again, and this time, you're giving up for nobody.
If you're doing well, the narcissist struggles to find words to describe how painful that is, especially after all those years of trying to convince you that you are worthless.
One woman told me her ex just stared at her new promotion announcement and muttered, "You got lucky." Lucky. Years of building yourself back, and that's what he lands on.
5 Silence covering rage? Check!
Narcissists may at times return to super empaths with a bit of a sickly sweet approach. I'm thinking of you. I miss everything we had. Do you think about me? Did we give up too easily? Pass me a bucket…
Then there are those who will resort to the more cold, cruel approaches. They watch you thriving from afar, wishing there was anything they could do to wipe that smile off your face. Underneath both these reactions to you becoming unstoppable as a super empath lies the same thing:
Fear. Panic. It's a panic that sets in when someone they've been used to controlling all this time is no longer willing to play that role.
One client told me her ex sent a birthday card three years after she left, with a note reading, "Just checking you're okay." Checking she was still reachable, more like.
You're out of reach. You don't feel impressed by the narcissist any more. Cue their worst nightmare!
6 Revenge? You? Not your style!
You aren't one for revenge, you feel as though it's child's play rather than a real attempt to move on and heal from the narcissist. That riles the narcissist even more, as if you're giving them nothing, you're proving that they truly are worthless in your eyes.
One client told me her ex kept baiting her with, "So this is who you are now?" She just shrugged. That shrug did more damage than any comeback ever could.
You aren't doing any of this to get back at them. You aren't living and growing because it will annoy them, you're doing it because that's what you want for yourself.
Your hobbies are starting to light you up all over again, and this time, you aren't going to waste a single minute worrying about what other people think of you. The old you is slowly re-entering the building, and this time, they're here to stay.
7 The narcissist watches
And so what if they are? Of course they're interested in this brand new, super version of you that they can't stop or hold back. The super empath is the very person who went to hell and back, and who is now flourishing on the other side of it all.
Let the narcissist sit with it and feel their discomfort. They're discovering that their power had a best before date, and now you are becoming the person you were always destined to be. No announcements, just you living your life.
And that quiet is the loudest thing they've ever heard from you. No proving, no explaining, no chasing their approval. Just you, existing, thriving, unbothered by their staring.
There really is nothing better.
8 The gut instincts you stopped ignoring
Remember that voice in the back of your head? The one that said, "Something's off here," and you shoved down because the narcissist had convinced you that you were paranoid, dramatic, imagining things.
That voice never left. It just got quiet.
And now it's back, and you're actually listening. When someone gives you a weird vibe, you don't override it and give them the benefit of the doubt for the seventeenth time. You just step back. You watch. You notice.
The narcissist worked hard to disconnect you from that inner knowing, because a woman (or man) who trusts her own gut is not somebody they can control. Simple as that.
So they trained you to second guess every flicker of unease until you couldn't tell the difference between real danger and your own anxiety.
Not anymore. You feel something, and you honour it. No debate, no long committee meeting in your head about whether you're being fair.
The super empath's gut is a lie detector that took years to switch back on. And it's finally on.
9 Your circle starts to shift
You look around one day and notice the room feels different. The people who used to drain you, the ones who kept you small, the ones who agreed with the narcissist about who you were? They're not really in the picture anymore.
Some drifted. Some got quietly cut. A few of them made a big fuss on the way out, calling you cold, telling anyone who'd listen that you'd changed. And yeah, you did. That was the point.
What takes their place is softer and steadier. People who ask how you actually are and wait for the real answer. Friends who don't need you to shrink so they can feel tall. Someone who says, "I like you like this," and means it.
It's a strange thing to sit with at first. You keep waiting for the catch. Waiting for the moment they turn. But it doesn't come, because these people aren't wired that way.
Your circle used to reflect who the narcissist wanted you to be. Now it reflects who you actually are.
