Hands up who has never met a narcissist.
I assume you’re here because you have, and that you know how capable they are of lying. They also do not hesitate to lie about you, and I think I’ve got the best 6 lies they use in order to tell people dishonest claims about who you are, and what you’re like as a person.
Before you’ve even gotten the chance to open your mouth to quash these ridiculous claims, they’ve been believed by people you know because that’s how quickly the narcissist gets to work to destroy your reputation.
Buckle in; this is exactly what you need to know.
1You’re the one who’s unstable
Heard it before, I bet. You’re the one who is rocking the foundations of your relationship, and not in a good way.
You’re unstable. You’re unpredictable. You’re never emotionally consistent.
Your moods have no substance. You’re unable to regulate your feelings healthily.
Suddenly, all of these accusations are put out there for the world to hear by the narcissist, who genuinely wants to make themselves look good by throwing you into the lion’s den.
“I can’t figure them out lately.” “They seem really off.” “I’ve tried talking to them.” “I just want to be happy.”
Everybody got their violins out? Because this is what a narcissist does, and they have no problem lying in order to get what they want from people. If it sings their praises, they will say whatever it takes to make you look terrible.
Everyone then starts to look at you closely, waiting for little prompts to confirm that you really are who the narcissist says you are. They wait for the cracks to appear so they can see exactly what the narcissist has to ‘endure.’
Suddenly then, they have the proof they were after.
See also5 Painful Things Every Survivor Loses to Narcissistic Abuse
2You are jealous and controlling
It’s laughable, this one. The notion that you’re jealous or controlling is just wild to me, because I know the character traits of both victim and narcissist so well that it’s just unfathomable to comprehend.
Narcissists are the ones who are constantly obsessed with gaining as much control as they can. Not only that, but they’re jealous of anyone who is achieving, getting attention, or doing well with their lives, to the point where they’re unable to hide their envious disdain for those living their best lives.
These are the same people who control who you talk to, isolate you from your family and friends, create drama every time you tell them your plans that don’t involve them.
Then they speak up and tell people that you’re jealous, and you’re controlling.
See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House
“I can’t do anything without running it by them.” “I try not to make myself too loud or big because it just makes them jealous.” “They check up on me to the point where I actually feel suffocated.”
It works to tell people this kind of lie only because the narcissist gets there before you do. People will believe the first person who speaks up, and speed is very much of the essence here.
Narcissists love to be a step ahead.
3You’re abusive toward them
I already know how this one feels for you all. I get at least ten messages a day telling me how you’ve been described as the abuser, and how you have to deal with the fallout from that.
It’s you who has been victim to the narcissist’s criticisms, put-downs, silent treatment, and mood explosions. You’ve been to hell and back a hundred times, yet you’re the bad guy.
The narcissist can lie so well.
When you’re the calm one who has done nothing but tolerate a whirlwind of abuse, it’s hard to believe that you’re made out to be the bad guy. Trust me, I’d put nothing past a narcissist; they’ll stop at nothing to win.
“She used to yell at me for no reason.” “He would corner me in the room and not let me leave.” “I lost all my friends because he told me they were using me.”
See alsoA Narcissist Would Rather Lose You Than Ever Admit They Were Wrong
It’s the biggest insult to any victim of narcissistic abuse, and the smear campaigns they start to get under your skin have the ability to run very deeply.
Nobody wants to disbelieve the narcissist because they’re either too intimidated by them, or too unwilling to see any reason why they’d lie in the first place.
So you’re stuck. And it hurts.
The narcissist will stop at nothing to make themselves look good.
4The reason you are friendless is due to your own behavior
What?! What kind of audacity is this?!
And isn’t it funny that before you met the narcissist, you had a wide circle of friends who both loved and cared for you. Your support system was off the charts, and your friendships went back years.
Before long, they all fell away, and it was mostly down to the fact that you were convinced you were too good for them, or that they only wanted you when it suited them.
You had a social life, and at some point, you stopped trying to keep it alive.
That gives the narcissist a great excuse to tell people:
“They stop trying with everyone.” “This is who they are.” “I keep trying to encourage them, but they just push people away.”
The narcissist again, wins. They look good because they look to be trying to help you, but they’re omitting one crucial fact:
They are the entire reason you don’t have a wide social circle any longer.
The narcissist removed everyone from your life, then used your loneliness against you.
See alsoWhy a Narcissist Gets Strange Right Before They Disappear
5You lie
“I wouldn’t listen to her.” “Take what you hear with a pinch of salt.” “They exaggerate to a worrying extent.” “As much as I love them, they do like to extend the truth to suit them.”
Pot, kettle, and black all come to mind here.
The purpose of these lines is to strike others and let them know that you can’t be trusted. When you do inevitably come out with your experiences that were true, nobody will believe you because they already think you are good at lying.
It’s an evil way to keep you silent and wrong.
6You’re lucky to have them in your life
Narcissists don’t usually say this outright, but they insinuate it in many ways.
They constantly know how to perform the long-suffering, hardworking partner they claim to be to the outside world.
“I do everything I can to help them.” “I work so hard.” “I try my best.” “I just want them to be happy.”
See alsoTHIS is What Makes Narcissists
Yeah, yeah. Spare me.
People will watch this dreary performance and honestly believe it. They look at you and think, “Why don’t you seem more grateful for what you have?”
You’re the bad guy, the narcissist looks great.
The narcissist has all they need at this point, because they’ve got the perception in everyone’s minds that they’re so good at relationships, and that they’re doing you some kind of favor.
The version you know of them couldn’t be more different.
