You know, some scams make for brutal headlines, but what about the ones that don't? What about the scams that only occur in your own home? The ones in your kitchen, or as you're walking through your front door? Nobody gets arrested or charged for those, do they?
Narcissists run these five scams for that very reason; to never be caught. It's high time we talked about them, don't you think?
It's time we outed these toxic chancers!
1 You might think, "Are these really scams?"
A bad scam is a known scam, right? Think of all those times you pick up your phone and hear that automated voice, or when you get that dodgy email come through that you know not to click.
The kind of scams a narcissist commits are nothing like these, and they're nowhere near as obvious. That's what makes them so good for the narcissist though, after all, they can be painted as love or concern, or even logic.
By the time you get to the point where you figure out what's been going on, you've already lost something that you can't ever get back. What might that mean for you?
It could be a loss of money, or your confidence that's been shredded to pieces over the years. You might even see it as all that time you spent waiting and hoping for something, someone, to prove themselves.
It's painful, and I'm aware that it can eat away at a person who just wants their life back.
Let's look at those scams.
2 Scam 1: When you invest, and it turns out to be fake
Have you ever been convinced by the narcissist to do something with them that sounds unbelievably amazing? They have a great way of luring in their victims, selling an idea or proposal that they run away with; the best idea ever!
Let's do this! Think about how amazing it'd be! If we both put in the effort, who knows how far we could go?
It does sound ideal, and so you give it your all. You work on it like never before, because you've been sold a dream by someone who could sell ice to people living in Alaska.
You go without for months, you sacrifice your time, energy and possibly even money to this dream. For what? Eventually, you see the payoff heading your way, but the narcissist takes all the credit. They look at everyone watching and applauding, and they just cannot help themselves.
It becomes their achievement, and all their blood, sweat and tears. How did you get here? You're standing, holding all the receipts, tired from pushing and challenging yourself to get this off the ground, and the narcissist isn't even acknowledging you.
See also 5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their HouseAt no point is your name mentioned, and you suddenly see that all you were, was a part of this scam that suited nobody but the narcissist.
It doesn't seem fair, does it?
That's because it isn't.
3 Scam 2: You do the good thing, yet somehow you still owe the narcissist
Ah yes, the good old exchange of guilt, as I like to call it. The narcissist will do something for you, but you don't realize the debt you're racking up at the time. They give you this talk and charm, like they're there for anything you need, but somewhere down the line, it will catch up with you, and you'll 'owe' them.
After everything I did for you. You forget just how much I've given up for you. You're so ungrateful.
These comments reveal themselves at the worst possible times, but with every time they rise up, you end up owing the narcissist something yet again.
Like all victims. Nobody ever asks a narcissist to keep these kinds of tabs, yet that's what they do.
You entered the relationship assuming that two people were looking out for one another, and that was the smokescreen you were forced to hide behind. What's really going on is the receipts that were running in the background, where you were always in some kind of debt, while the narcissist got away with treating you that way.
You had no idea their favors were a form of interest, yet there you are, doing good things, and still somehow owing the narcissist.
Why does it work this way? Because narcissists want everything to be about them, and not you.
4 Scam 3: Your vulnerabilities used against you
This one stirs up anger in me, quite literally! First off, the reason why it stings so much is because you don't notice it at first, and you mistake it for a warmth the narcissist pretends they have.
They don't.
I want to understand you. Let me into your world. Talk to me. I'm here for you. I want to know your thoughts and feelings.
Right. Of course you do. You think, "Wow, this person loves me so much," so you open up and tell them all your innermost feelings and triggers. Your insecurities pour out, and you feel as though you're emotionally lighter for sharing those thoughts.
Fast forward a few weeks, and you're in the middle of an argument with that same person, who is now using those very things you told them against you.
You said so yourself how sensitive you are. Have you ever thought that you're just feeling all those fears coming up that you talk so much about? Now I know why you told me about your worries; look at you, you're a mess.
Right there is where it all backfires on you, and you realize you told someone vulnerabilities that would later be used as a weapon.
No wonder you feel so defeated.
5 Scam 4: The way the narcissist takes all the credit
Oh, I hate this one. A narcissist is perfect at taking credit for absolutely everything they had no part in producing. If the narcissist in your life is your spouse, you'll know this from everything you do in the house or for you both that they had nothing to do with, yet they claim victory as theirs.
If you have a narcissistic parent, you will have gotten onto every step of the ladder 'because of them,' and not because you're intelligent, skilled, or that you work hard.
Insane, isn't it? It's the ultimate chip of offence when you contribute and those contributions end up being invisible. You become nothing but background noise to them, and you aren't allowed to celebrate what you achieve.
The narrative is controlled by them the whole time, so if anyone is keeping score, it's the narcissist.
6 Scam 5: Those goalposts that never stay still
Just when you think you've met where they will approve or cheer with you, the narcissist will change the goalposts and make you chase them even more yet again.
You chase happiness and peace, you chase being enough. Even though you're doing far more than you should be, you will still be ground into exhaustion by someone who doesn't lift a finger.
The game is this. You won't see it as a scam because you're too busy trying to please someone who is never going to be happy with or for you.
It's as unfair as it is unjust, but that's where many victims sadly find themselves.
