You want to go to sleep, and it's time for bed, but the narcissist has other plans.
Falling asleep beside someone who you think you can trust is one thing. Falling asleep next to someone who is manipulative, controlling, and determined to make your life hell? That's quite another.
When you fall asleep first, you're left with this person roaming the environment you're in, and you have no idea the creepy things they might be up to.
They get away with it because you're none the wiser, and you miss it all.
Let me tell you, these 6 creepy things are bound to get you wishing you could see what happens when they're not using your vulnerability of being asleep against you.
1Waking you up to pick a fight with you
Your teeth are brushed, and you're snug under your duvet. As you're drifting off, right at the point where you're asleep, you're woken up with a jolt.
The jolt is the narcissist, staring at you with eyes that mean business.
"Why were you so quiet today?" "Last week you were slamming the doors around. What was that even about?" "Why do you have such a problem taking the trash out?"
You're laying there heart racing as you pick yourself back into awakeness, and here you are getting the blame for something you have no idea what to do with.
Waking you up like that is a classic thing a narcissist will do if you fall asleep first.
How dare you rest? How dare you look so peaceful? How dare you think life is this easy?
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A narcissist doesn't like calm; they want drama, and they want it fast.
Bedtime becomes yet another opportunity to punish you and keep you on edge, and they'll do that successfully if they get half a chance.
Somehow, this time of day is the time where they want to make their strongest point, and I find it beyond sad.
2Trying to get a look at your phone while you're asleep
Your phone is your private property, yet when you're asleep, the narcissist will try to log in and see what you do.
See also5 Creepy Things Every Narcissist Hides Somewhere in Their House
They want to see your apps, who you talk to, who you follow on social media, where your messages are, what photos are in your gallery, and what your internet history is.
Narcissists have a long history of being jealous and controlling, so your phone in their hands while you're asleep and oblivious is a golden time for them. Checking it without your permission also means they get to read what you've written and test you on it when you're awake to make sure you're telling the truth.
It's weird to me that a person can feel this entitled, and I don't just mean with your phone, I mean with all your information. Phones are way more than messages now.
You bank on them, apply for credit, buy things, work, check your emails, and it's all in one place. These are virtual worlds that represent us, and it's scary to think someone so toxic can just get hold of them and grab your private moments and make them public.
3Disturbing your sleep when they're angry so your sleep is broken
You go to bed, you fall asleep, and half an hour later, the bathroom door slams, or the narcissist starts watching a movie with the sound bar on full.
What is this?!
This is unfair, but it's done to keep your sleep disturbed.
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"I'm not even doing anything." "It's not even loud." "You're making a fuss of nothing." "Oh, my bad."
The aim of the narcissist is to wake you up, not be guilty of anything outside of that.
Sleep is essential, and the narcissist knows that. Anything that could wait until morning should, but you try telling them that!
4Making lots of noise and pretending they're fine, so you wake up angry
Nothing to see here, other than a narcissist who decides to blend their morning protein shake at 11pm the previous night to, I quote, "Save me doing it in the morning."
It wakes you up, of course, and you ask what's going on. Suddenly, you're yelled at for being miserable or bossy.
"I'm not in a mood, I just want to be organized for tomorrow!"
You apologize for them waking you up, and you go back to bed and proceed to toss and turn for the next hour.
Funny how that happens, isn't it?
I had a client once who said whenever she fell asleep, her narcissistic husband would start playing video games with the soundbar on.
"I need to hear whenever someone is close by in the game so I don't lose my life!"
Okay, well, fantastic. She has to be kept awake so he can play his game the right way, and if she complained, she was blamed for being boring.
5Making you feel bad for falling asleep first
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"How come it's so easy for you to fall asleep?" "It's not fair, I struggle so much." "You must get so much sleep and feel so good."
You feel bad, but why is that? You can't help it, and besides, you work hard and deserve to rest just as hard, too.
Sleep is literally the least controversial thing to do; we all do it and we all need it. If you sleep and your narcissistic partner doesn't, they see it as some kind of personal attack on them which is wild.
You aren't there to manage their feelings or force them to sleep, and my bet is they do sleep well, they just want to make you feel rubbish about yet another thing.
You'd think going to sleep would be one of the least controversial things a person could do, but a controlling partner may interpret it as rejection. They might accuse you of not caring about them.
You end up getting less sleep because you feel bad.
6Go to their own phone to check on everyone, including you
This one doesn't have everything to do with you, but it's still a creepy way for narcissists to behave when they know you aren't looking over their shoulder or sitting in the same room.
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A narcissist will pick up their phone and catch up with everything they want to catch up on.
They scroll social media, making sure they haven't missed any news from anyone, and yes, that includes your profile, too. Who is liking your comments, any new followers, or any photos they don't approve of.
These people hate missing out on news, and always want to be the first to know everything. This pastime is a great way for them to be up to date and make sure they can use any information they do find on those people.
It's pretty hideous to me that they can't just use their phones like normal people; they are like real spying devices, and you have no idea it's going on because you're asleep.
For once, the narcissist doesn't want to disturb you because they rely on that alone to get what they want.
