If you feel like you’re just one big major mess, you aren’t alone. As unhealthy as you might feel for it, the common notion that you’re just one bad sleep away from falling apart is all part of being human.

We’re all human.

You’ve got to learn to love yourself, and the skin you’re in.

If you want to meet somebody you want to fall in love with you – there’s no point pretending to be what you deem perfect.

Perfect is in the imperfections accepted by those we love.

The ‘Right Now’

It can all feel too much right now, can’t it?

Life twists and turns so much, and as we twist and turn with it, it’s easy to start to really feel the mess. 

You don’t feel good enough. For yourself, or anybody else, either. That happy smile you once saw frequently painted on your face has disappeared because life got a little too much to handle. 

Right now it’s hard, and right now you feel like a complete mess. 

The habitual thoughts that go along with feeling like a mess can be destructive to the mind, body and soul. 

Everything you want to do stays nothing but a dream as the idea of working toward it overwhelms you.

All this does is confirm to you that you’re not clever enough, or proactive enough, or even capable enough. 

You’re on a rollercoaster of emotions, none of them are good and you just can’t get off.

Who the heck is going to love you as you’re this version of yourself?

Somebody, Someday Will…

And this is the truth that’s hard to find when you’re feeling like such a mess.

When you are so low that you can’t even see the sun through the clouds, you’re unlikely to ever imagine the love of another hurtling toward you, about to change your world entirely. 

They say there’s someone for everybody in our lives, and I would agree with that. 

When you feel like a hot mess, you’re not going to attract the right person toward you.

Energy matches energy, and in those moments, all you’ll find swarming around you are toxic people who want to take advantage of your low self-confidence.

And what will that do for you?

Well, it will make you feel a hundred times worse. 

But for them?

Well, like all toxic people, they will love seeing you suffer more. 

So stick to yourself, work on what you’re going through, and eventually you will find somebody who will be able to do these 6 things:

#1 Admire You

It doesn’t matter how messy you feel you are, or your life is. Finding somebody who admires you through it all will be the moment you realize you’ve found a keeper. 

They aren’t concerned with always seeing the best version of you, they’re interested in how real you are, and all the ways they can support that. 

#2 Empower You

On the days you want to give up and give in to those unhealthy habits you’ve carried all this time – you’ve got your person to empower you.

I believe in you.

I know you can do it.

Trust yourself to make good choices.

You’ve got this.

These are statements you want to hear from somebody who knows you, and believes in you. 

There’s nothing to fear when they treat you as if you have all the power to make the positive changes you need to make. 

#3 Love You

The bottom line, right? The foundation of all that is necessary to be loved by somebody is to hear them say those words.

But more than that (because life has taught me that saying I love you isn’t as meaningful as being shown), to feel that love through action and promise is crucial. 

Even when you feel like you’re a total mess – you’re still loveable in the eyes of the right person. 

#4 Not Try to Change You

The right people would never try to change those they claim to love.

We can always inspire and compromise, but to fully change is a dangerous game to want to play, and in doing so, it’s entirely possible to lose yourself even more.

That may result in you feeling even more of a mess!

Why drift farther away from who you are?

Some day, and you’ll know when it happens, you will be graced with a respectful and kind soul who only has their authentic self to offer you. 

And they will love you for who you are. 

#5 Appreciate You

The best part of feeling like a mess is when you’re still appreciated through it all. The work you do, the little things you set aside, the gestures; they all matter. 

Beyond mattering, they’re also noticed. 

I personally love to hear those words:

I really appreciate what you did today.

Doesn’t it sound so warm and intentional?

I love you can sometimes slip out so easily that it’s almost automatic, but to describe your appreciation goes that step further. 

And… If you’re feeling a mess and somebody still appreciates you, then I’d say that’s a big win!

#6 Understand Your Mess

Because guess what? They’re probably feeling just as messy in different ways!

Did that ever cross your mind as you try to wade your way through your own muddy waters murkily?

They’re just as imperfect. They’re equally as crushed up in their own chaos. They wish they weren’t as much as you wish you weren’t, but that’s life sometimes. 

To have your mess understood means that person is trying hard to empathize with you.

I’d say that was a great place to start together, don’t you?

Loving Yourself First

I know I make loving yourself sound so easy, but I can appreciate the mountain you may feel like you’re climbing as you attempt it in real life. 

But let me preface loving yourself more by saying how completely possible it is, with time, patience, and self-forgiveness. 

When it comes to having high thoughts about yourself, it’s all about starting small and working your way up to what you deserve. 

Being the version of you that you dream to be can be a reality by accepting who you are and realizing that nobody is perfect.

What makes a person love themselves is fully embracing who they are. This isn’t about ego or grandiosity.

It’s about being humble, finding your purpose in life and being as authentic as you can. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to have bad days, and it’s okay to fall down.

But falling down shouldn’t be followed – not ever – by giving up. 

If you can love yourself, you will attract positive energy your way, thus creating a welcome space for potential love from another. 

A Person Meant For You Will Do These 3 Things!

In life, we all want to know that the person we’re with is meant for us.

Nobody wants to waste their time building a foundation that’s only destined to be knocked down.

We don’t have that kind of energy.

Do you remember a situation where you felt this?

It is beautiful to see a person before you with whom you wanted it all to work out.

If you want clarity, I have carefully crafted three things you need to look out for to ensure you know a person is good for you.

I don’t want to talk about money. I don’t want to talk about promises.

I don’t want roses, or chocolates, or a movie date. (Well, the chocolates I … No…. Forget it).

Kissing Too Many Frogs

Some might see the fun in kissing frogs, but others not so much.

What do you think about it? Putting yourself out there and searching for

The One is not as easy as the movies make it. 

There’s usually no meeting up the top of the Empire State Building,

and no meet cute where doves are released and a nice soothing song is playing in the background. 

When you do meet that one meant for you, it will be confirmed only in time, and you have to trust time as a process in general. 

Needing to Raise The Bar

So with all those frogs you have kissed, there has to be a time you meet the prince or princess. 

As we all look for various traits in a person, it’s equally imperative to ensure they match with you in terms of values and morals, too.

So the following three things will be where you start in defining your forever with somebody. 

Let your one true love reveal themselves…. now!

These 3 Things Will Reveal A Person is Meant For You

#1 Connection

The big one.

Connection.

There’s little to no point in attempting a relationship with a person you don’t ‘feel.’ 

Tell me now through the power of thought teleportation that you have tried this.

Some of you may have even really convinced yourself that this one particular person has it all.

The wondrous way they make you feel, the way they make you laugh, the sex.

But what about when all of that is taken away? What is there left? 

Connection is when two people feel drawn to each other, and use that as the center of where everything else grows.

You consciously want to be together, and like moths to a flame, you were drawn to one another for more reasons than just those that scratch the surface. 

Connections can look like:

• How you communicate
• Allowing each other to be vulnerable
• Expressing gratitude; being grateful for the little things
• Kissing or hugging
• Conscious respect and trust

Some things go a really long way.

If you’re looking for a person who is meant for you, you need to look out for a connection that lasts, and not one meant to wither away quickly. 

It is in the permanence of connection you will see the permanence of love. 

#2 Want To Understand You

What does understanding mean to you?

I’ll give you an example.

Sally had a hard childhood, where one parent was incredibly overprotective, and the other was abusive.

She constantly felt batted between neglect and coddled.

Most days were filled with an underlying anxiety of, “What’s going to happen today? What mood will my dad be in?”

Some of those moods consisted of coming home from work with candy for her, and hearing from him that she is the light of his life.

Other days, he wouldn’t even speak to her. If she tried to engage, he would shout and criticize. 

Sally grew up wanting to make a change in her life, but never really knowing or having the tools to do so.

As time went on, she knew she wanted to meet somebody the opposite of her father. 

Sally met Robert, who was a quiet man. He sometimes struggled to find the right words, and he was the kind of man who would go about life without the need to brag, or buy the most expensive things.

He was happy, and content with what he had, and he wanted to find somebody special to share it with. 

When Sally met Robert, they enjoyed each other’s company. Over time, Sally told Robert about her childhood, and Robert spoke about his (not perfect for other reasons).

It was a moment of true understanding that connected them further.

This understanding came from Sally listening to what Robert had to say, and for Robert to understand that Sally’s childhood left scars.

Robert didn’t want to re-open those scars. Instead, he wanted to be the person who nurtured them.

He understood that Sally needed support from time to time, or reassurance that helped Sally feel validated. 

This is exactly what I mean by understanding.

The conscious effort to take the person you’re with, and understand that they’re made up of a million tiny pieces.

Life can get complex, and understanding only means finding a person meant for you. 

#3 Let You Be You

Acceptance.

I accept you for you, and you accept me for me.

Nobody is trying to change anybody, and neither person is attempting to manipulate them into losing themselves. 

Isn’t that what life and love is all about? I know for me, that’s where the real magic is. 

When you can authentically be yourself, you remain free to explore what goals and hobbies you have.

You get to hold onto what’s important to you, and what you feel strongly about.

None of it is called into question, or criticized.

This is what I mean when I say somebody is intended for you.

They are in no way displaying any signs of toxicity. They just want to see you happy and enjoy it when you are. 

Settling For Less

Some of you out there may be settling for less. Getting stuck into the habits and routines of ‘good enough for right now.’ 

I wanted to raise these three things as a standard that everybody should set for themselves.

With all three components, you know you’ve found somebody you’re meant to be with, and I feel that’s something we all deserve. 

Too often, these become lost in the fight for short-term attention or temporary gratification. 

No relationship can sustain such shallow waters, so for anything more.

There needs to be more awareness of who you are and the type of person you want to match physically, emotionally, and mentally.