Why Is My Girlfriend So Mean To Me For No Reason?

Recently, you’ve noticed a change in your girlfriend’s behavior. As far as you’re aware, you haven’t done anything wrong, so you’re wondering, why is my girlfriend so mean to me for no reason? 

It could be because she’s got mental health issues, met someone else, or doesn’t know how to express her emotions.

Either way, you need to get to the bottom of this because it’s no fun being in a relationship with someone who treats you like crap!

So keep reading to find out why your girlfriend is so mean to you for no reason. 

20 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is So Mean To You

There are several reasons why your girlfriend is mean to you for no reason, including she’s got mental health issues, she’s met someone else, or she doesn’t know how to express her emotions.

If your girlfriend has been treating you like her arch-enemy recently, these are possible reasons.  


#1 She’s Got Mental Health Issues

Mental health is a serious issue. Your girlfriend may know she’s got problems, and she may not. There’s a possibility she could have bipolar.

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by mood swings. One minute a person seems normal. The next, they’re lashing out at someone. 

#2 She’s Met Someone Else

You may have a perfectly normal relationship, and apart from her random outbursts, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. But what you don’t know is that she’s met someone else.

And the reason she’s being mean to you is that she knows you’ve got a good relationship, and she’s risking everything to be with this guy she’s just met, so instead of dumping you, she’s hoping you’ll get so tired of her outbursts, and dump her. 

#3 She’s A People Pleaser

People pleasers don’t like conflict. They want to keep the peace with everyone and go out of their way to ensure they don’t upset anyone.

As a result, when someone has done something to offend them, they internalize it instead of confronting the person.

Let’s say you’ve been together for 18 months and you’ve never had a disagreement, some people will say that’s awesome, but the truth is, it’s not.

What typically happens with people pleasers is they start lashing out at the most menial things. You may have spent the last six months putting your towel on the floor in front of the laundry basket, but now she screams at you because of it.

What happened? All her repressed emotions have come to the surface, and you’re in the firing line. 

#4 Premenstrual Syndrome

If you’re not used to being around women, you won’t have any experience with premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

Just before a woman starts her cycle, she experiences hormonal fluctuations, and these changes can affect her behavior. Some premenstrual syndrome symptoms include depression, crying for no reason, anxiety, social withdrawal, and a change in libido.

If you’ve noticed your girlfriend starts acting like a mad woman once a month, there’s a high chance she’s suffering from PMS. 

#5 She’s An Introvert And You’re An Extrovert

You’ve probably heard the term opposites attract, and that’s what’s happened with you and your girlfriend.

She’s an introvert, and you’re an extrovert, and you’ve got very different personality types.

Introverts find it difficult to maintain long-term relationships because when they withdraw and decide they want to be by themselves, the extrovert gets offended.

Since extroverts recharge their batteries by being around people, you keep pushing to spend time with her, which overwhelms her and makes her withdraw further. 

#6 You Don’t Understand Her Love Language

Have you ever tried to converse with a Chinese person who doesn’t speak English? Impossible right? Well, that’s what happens when a couple doesn’t understand each other’s love language.

According to relationship expert Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. Let’s say yours is gift-giving, and hers is spending quality time.

Because your love language is gift-giving, you’re always buying her gifts, but she wants to spend time with you, so your gift-giving doesn’t mean anything to her.

As a result, she gets frustrated because she feels as if her needs are not being met, and that’s why she’s angry with you. 

#7 She’s Angry With You

Maybe she found lipstick on your collar, porn on your mobile phone, or a phone number in your trouser pocket.

She doesn’t want to approach you about it yet because she’s trying to decide how to approach you.


But your girlfriend is not very good at hiding her emotions, so her anger towards you keeps slipping out. 

#8 You’re Not Compatible

Lust is powerful; two people can have an intense physical attraction toward each other, but that’s as far as it goes. You don’t share the same ambitions, and you don’t have anything in common other than good sex.

After a while, this can get pretty boring, which might be why your girlfriend is being mean to you for no reason. 

#9 You Get On Her Nerves

Have you recently moved in together? Some couples break up shortly after moving in together because their true colors come out.

When you spend most of your time with a person, you get to know them for who they really are and not just the side they choose to show you. It’s difficult to hide when you live with someone.

Your girlfriend has now been exposed to your bad side and doesn’t like it. 

#10 She’s Attention Seeking

Maybe she feels you don’t give her the attention she wants when she’s nice to you, so she’s decided to be mean to you instead.

Some women find that they get taken advantage of when they’re too nice. She cooks all the meals, does your laundry, and gives you a message when you’ve had a hard day at work.


But since you don’t show her the same love in return, she’s withdrawn all your privileges, and she’s being mean to you.

Now you’re calling her every five minutes trying to find out what happened. 

#11 You Allow Her To Be Mean To You

Have you heard the saying, “treat them mean and keep them keen,” or, “men love bitches?”

Well, it works because you’ve been letting her get away with it, so now she thinks she’s got you on a leash, and she can treat you how she wants.

Most men don’t even realize they like mean girls, but they’re so attracted to them because they’re a challenge. They enjoy the chase, and a mean girl acts like she’s not interested while dropping a few crumbs every now and then.

It’s a massive turn-on to a guy. If this is your problem, you probably enjoyed it while you were dating, but now that you’re in a serious relationship, you’re expecting her to be a bit nicer to you. 

#12 It’s How She Controls You

Unfortunately, there’s a high chance your girlfriend is a narcissist. Was she really good to you when you first got together?

Did she say everything right, buy you gifts, and take you to fancy restaurants? Did she make you think she was the most amazing woman you’ve ever met?


Well, that’s the first stage of being in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s called ‘love bombing,’ and when she knows she’s got you hooked, she switches on you and starts being mean.

This stage is called ‘devaluing’ the final stage is ‘discarding.’ She’ll dump you when she feels you’re no longer useful to her. If you suspect she’s a narcissist, get out now while you’ve got the chance! 

#13 She Had A Bad Day At Work

Your girlfriend being mean to you might not have anything to do with you at all. She may have argued with her boss or one of her co-workers, and it’s really bothering her.

She might not be ready to talk about it just yet, but she’s taking her frustration out on you because you’re around. 

#14 She has Family Problems

Some people have got some terrible family problems that they’d rather keep to themselves.

This is especially true when a person has just started a relationship; after all, who wants to get dragged into their girlfriend’s constant family drama?

So, instead of talking about it, she shuts down, and it might come across as she’s being mean to you, but that’s not what’s going on at all. 

#15 She’s An Empath

Your girlfriend might be an empath but doesn’t know it. Empaths absorb energy from other people, and it causes sudden and dramatic mood changes.

For example, you go to the mall, and everything seems great between you, but when you get home, she’s in a bad mood even though you didn’t argue. What happened?

She was in an environment with angry people, she picked up their energy, and now she’s angry. 

#16 She’s Hangry

Hangry people get angry when they’re hungry. Seriously…there’s a psychological reason for it.

According to gastroenterologist Christine Lee, MD, when a person goes long periods without eating, their blood sugar gets really low, which triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol.

Some people get aggressive when they’ve got cortisol flowing through their system. 

#17 You’re Not Who She Thought You Were

So you’ve been dating for two months, and everything seemed great initially.

You made a lot of promises that you’d be the best boyfriend ever, but you don’t seem to have made good on your promise, and now she’s pissed.


You’re unreliable, always late, never do what you say you’re going to do, and that’s not what she wants in a relationship.

So now she’s being mean to you because you’re not who she thought you were. 

#18 She Acts Like Her Mother

Unfortunately, your girlfriend is a product of her environment. The way she treats you is the way her mother treated her father, and she’s internalized that.

As far as she’s concerned, her behavior is normal. She doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with how she treats you because it’s happening subconsciously.

#19 She Wants To Break Up With You 

The relationship isn’t what she had hoped, and she wants out. She might be frustrated because she was expecting you to keep lavishing her with gifts, or she was hoping you’d be more affectionate.

Either way, she’s not happy, and it’s manifesting as her being mean to you. 


#20 She’s Angry With Herself 

Angry people project their anger on others. People are angry for many reasons, your angry girlfriend might of had a bad childhood, or she’s disappointed with where she is in life right now.

But instead of confronting what’s going on with her, she takes it out on the people closest to her, and you’re one of them. 

What To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Being Mean To You?

It’s frustrating being in a relationship with someone mean to you all the time for no reason. The good news is you can change your situation by giving her space, not taking it personally, and speaking to her about it.


Here are twelve solutions to your girlfriend being mean to you. 

#1 Give Her Space

Have you been asking yourself the question, how do you survive an angry girlfriend? Well, one way is to give her space.

Bombarding her with phone calls and text messages can be highly annoying, pushing her further away. This is especially true if she doesn’t realize she’s being mean to you.

So instead, give her time to cool off, and when she’s in a better mood, speak to her about it.  

#2 Start With You

When you’re having problems in a relationship and looking for answers, the best place to start is with yourself.

Pointing the finger and playing the blame game is the easiest thing to do because you don’t need to acknowledge your weaknesses or accept responsibility for your actions.

However, when you can admit the role you’ve played in the breakdown of your relationship, it makes finding a resolution a lot easier. 

#3 Don’t Take It Personally 

Don’t take it personally if your girlfriend wants to end the relationship. If you’re not compatible with someone, that’s not a reflection on you.

It just wasn’t meant to be. Her breaking up with you is doing you a favor because it frees you to find the woman of your dreams. 

#4 Speak To Her About It

Conversation with your girlfriend will help you better understand why she’s acting this way because you’ll never know what’s bothering her until you speak to her.

However, you mustn’t attempt to talk to her when she’s in a bad mood, you won’t achieve anything, and it will just worsen matters.

Additionally, please don’t speak to her in an accusatory tone. Instead, start the conversation by saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit stressed lately, is something bothering you?

Do you want to speak to me about it?” Your girlfriend is more likely to open up to you if she doesn’t feel as if she’s being attacked. 

#5 Ask How You Can Help Her

When she tells you what’s going on with her, make sure you’re as supportive as possible by asking if there’s anything you can do to help.

As you’ve read, there are several reasons why your girlfriend might be being mean to you for no reason, and some of the most serious involve mental health and family problems.

For example, she may suspect she’s got mental health problems and feels she needs to see a psychiatrist. Or if she’s got issues with her family, she may need you to back her up.

Whatever she’s dealing with, make sure she knows she can count on you for anything. 

#6 Try And See Things From Her Perspective

If she’s an introvert and gets overwhelmed when she needs alone time, you must give her the space she needs so she can recharge her batteries.

This may be hard for you to accept if you’re an extrovert, but you must compromise if you want the relationship to work. 


#7 Allow Her to Vent

So you’ve had a conversation, and she’s told you exactly what’s happening with her. But now you know what the problem is, you want to fix it.

Since men tend to be problem solvers, it’s normal for them to want to find the solution to a problem, but sometimes women just want to vent.

Let’s say she’s being mean to you because she had a bad day at work. She’s not telling you what happened because she wants you to fix it.

She’s telling you what happened because she wants to get it off her chest. All she wants to do is release her frustration, and all she wants you to do is listen to her. 

#8 Say You’re Sorry

If the conversation reveals, you’ve done something to offend your girlfriend. Don’t deny it. Acknowledge you were in the wrong and apologize.

If she’s mad at you because she found a phone number in your trouser pocket the morning after you had a night out with the boys, be honest about what happened.

Unless she’s some type of stealth assassin, no woman can get that close to you that she can put her number in your pocket. So it’s obvious that you took it and put it there yourself.


Your girlfriend has every right to be angry because, as far as she’s concerned, you should have said, “I’m sorry, I can’t take your number, I’ve got a girlfriend.”

Or, if you didn’t want to offend, you could have taken the number and thrown it in the trash. It may have been totally innocent, but can you see how offensive this is to your girlfriend?

Instead of coming up with a load of excuses, admit you were in the wrong and apologize. 

#9 Do Something Nice For Her

Whether you were in the wrong, or she was upset about something that had nothing to do with you, do something nice for her.

It will take the edge of things, help her relieve some tension, and hopefully, you guys can return to being the happy couple you always were. 

#10 Make Her Laugh

Laughter is medicine to the soul; if your girlfriend is upset, make her laugh. Whether by telling her a funny joke or having a comedy night, a good old belly laugh will relax her and help her take her mind off things. 

#11 Couples Therapy

Sometimes the problems you’re having in your relationship are deeper than you know. For example, your girlfriend might be being mean to you because of some deep-seated childhood trauma that she’s buried.

If so, she’ll need professional help to resolve her issues. Couples therapy can then help you work on things like communication style, intimacy, and the interactions you have in your relationship. 

#12 Dump Her 

If it turns out your girlfriend is a narcissist or that she’s got ill intentions towards you, dump her immediately. The good thing about narcissists is they’re predictable.

Right now, you’re in the devaluing stage, and the final stage is discarding. She’s planning on dumping you anyway, so you might as well get in there first.

But unfortunately, it’s not that easy to dump a narcissist. You can’t tell her you’re leaving. You’ll need to plan your exit very strategically, and depending on the category of narcissist you’re dealing with, you may need to leave town for a while! 

How Do You Tell If Your Girlfriend Hates You?

Unfortunately, there is a chance your girlfriend has gotten to the point where she hates you.

Some signs include: displaying closed body language, making excuses not to see you, and not want to sleep with you.

Keep reading to find out whether your girlfriend hates you. 


#1 She Displays Negative Body Language

Actions speak louder than words, so pay attention to her body language. It will give you accurate insight into her feelings about you because body language is subconscious.

For example, does she pull away quickly during a hug? That’s because she doesn’t enjoy being too close to you. Does she roll her eyes when you’re talking?

Or drop hands when you’re in public? These are all signs that she doesn’t want to be around you. 

#2 She Keeps Making Excuses Not To See You

Last week she had a headache, this week, she’s got a stomach ache, and at the last minute, her mom needs help getting up the stairs.

It’s just one thing after the other with your girlfriend, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get a date with her.

This behavior is not normal either because she wanted to spend all her free time with you when you first got together.

The distance she’s creating between you indicates that she’d rather spend her time elsewhere. 

#3 She Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You

It’s a known fact that men want sex more than women. But the level of rejection you’re experiencing these days is ridiculous. You seem to be having sex once a month if you’re lucky!

For women to truly enjoy sex, they need to connect emotionally with their partners. If she doesn’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship, she’s not going to want to have sex.

For some women, sex is about vulnerability, and if she can’t trust that you’re going to take care of her emotionally, she won’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with you. 

#4 She’s Always Starting Arguments

You can’t seem to do anything right these days. You wash the dishes, do the laundry, take the trash out, fill her car with gas, the list of things you do for her is endless.

But nothing’s good enough regardless of what you do, and she always has something to complain about. She’s turned into petty Patricia!

You feel like you’ve got to walk on eggshells with her because you never know when she will start an argument with you. 

#5 She Doesn’t Want To Talk

Your girlfriend went from chatty Patty to Silent Sally overnight. What happened? She’s so irritated with you that she no longer wants to communicate.

As mentioned, when a woman is emotionally disconnected with her partner, the last thing she wants to do is sleep with him. No longer wanting to speak to you is another sign that she’s emotionally disconnected from you.

Women are emotional creatures, and talking is one of the ways they express themselves. So if she’s not speaking to you, it’s a sign that she’s switched off emotionally. 

#5 She’s Stopped Getting Jealous

At the beginning of your relationship, you couldn’t so much as glance at another woman without her having something to say about it.

She didn’t like you speaking to your female friends on the phone in front of her, and you were forbidden from kissing women on the cheek when you greet them.

Even though you thought it was a bit extreme, you liked it because it showed she cared. Now she’s not bothered what you do.

You’ve even pushed the boundaries and let your eyes linger on an attractive woman for a few seconds, and she doesn’t flinch.

You’ve broken all the rules, and you haven’t heard a peep out of her. This is a clear sign that she hates you. 

#6 She Gives You One Word Answers

You and your girlfriend used to have the best text messaging banter ever. When you weren’t together, you spent all your free time texting each other.

But now, you can’t seem to get a peep out of her. You send her flirty and fun texts, and she sends you the same dry responses, “yes,” “oh,” and “nice.” Her latest style of responding to you has made you question whether she’s still into you. 

#7 She’s Overly Friendly With Men

When you first got together, she kept all the men at arm’s length when you went to a bar.

Then, if she needed to use the restroom, she’d have you follow her and bravely point to you when men tried to hit on her.

Now, she’s conversing with them and whispering sweet nothings into their ears right before your eyes!

What’s going on here? Basically, she’s indirectly trying to tell you that she’s not into you anymore and she doesn’t care about your feelings.

Women know full well how fragile men’s egos are, and if she’s going out of her way to shatter yours, she’s got it in for you! 

#8 She Logs Off When She Sees You Online

You’ve noticed that whether it’s on the watts app or on social media, she logs out when she sees you log on. No, you’re not imagining things, and it’s not a coincidence either because it happens all the time.

When you first got together, she’d be the first person to acknowledge you when you popped up online. Now it seems like she’s constantly running from you.