What Does It Mean When He Calls Me Instead of Texting?

When you first start dating someone, everything feels magical. This is especially true when both parties are equally interested, as it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of everything.

This includes non-stop texting to check in with each other to see how your days went. These days, it’s pretty normal to have entire conversations with people without ever having to pick up the phone and make an actual call. 

So if you’ve been texting this entire time, receiving a phone call from him can feel pretty shocking.

You may wonder, “What does it mean when he calls me instead of texting?” Is it a sign that he’s more interested? Or is it a way to avoid having documented text conversations on his phone?

There could be a variety of reasons for why a guy starts calling instead of texting, and they vary from incredibly sweet to terribly toxic. People often have their preferences for many reasons.

Some prefer how easy it is to express yourself on an actual call versus trying to explain what you’re thinking over a text. 

Other men, however, prefer the intimacy that a phone call allows. If you’re confused about his new behavior, know you’re not alone.

Whether you’re happy about the newfound communication style or growing suspicious, these are the best meanings behind the increase in phone calls. 

9 Things It Could Mean When a Guy Calls You Instead of Texting

He called me – now what? In the day and age of texting, getting on a phone call can either be extremely endearing and sweet or downright panicked and urgent.

In today’s world, texting has made it easier to stay in contact no matter where or what you’re doing.

However, everyone is different and prefers different forms of communication. With texting, it can be harder to read someone’s tone, whereas phone calls provide you with better context. This can lead to a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings. 

What Does It Mean When He Calls Me Instead of Texting?

  1. He is looking for something more serious
  2. He counts on your help
  3. He wants to get to know you better
  4. Controlling Personality
  5. He feels comfortable around you
  6. He is Clingy
  7. He tries to hide something
  8. He considers you a friend
  9. He is in love

When a guy decides to call instead of texting, it can mean many different things. It could mean that he’s ready to take the relationship to the next level or that he’s hiding you from someone else.

It’s not always easy to decipher someone else’s intentions, especially if you’ve only started to date. Let’s break down the top things it could mean when he’s calling and how you can best determine which one applies to you. 


1. He’s looking for something more serious 

Let’s start our list off with the best-case scenario. If you like the guy, then his calling you could be a clear sign that he’s interested in something more.

As texting has become a more popular, albeit less personal, way of communicating, calling someone is a great way to establish intimacy. If he likes you a lot, he may be happy to hear your voice. 

One of the best ways to figure out if this is the case is to pay attention to the types of conversations you’re having.

Do you happen to spend hours on the phone talking about your days and sharing intimate thoughts? Does he happen to compliment you when you’re on the phone and tell you that he enjoys talking with you?

Calling you daily is his indirect way of saying he likes you and wants to give you his undivided attention. 

2. He knows he can count on you for help 

Are you two in the same classes together or work in the same office? If so, pay attention to the context of the conversations when he calls.

When the telephone conversations revolve around asking for help on the most recent homework assignment or picking up his slack with the office work, he may call you because he depends on your help.

You’ll find he never really reaches out to see your day or ask questions about yourself. This type of guy typically disappears once he gets the help that he’s been in search of. 

3. He wants to get to know you better 

After a fantastic first date, it’s only natural to want to get to know each other better. By getting on phone calls, it’s easier to expedite this process.

With texting, you can wait hours before coming up with a response or can get sidetracked with work and other responsibilities.

Getting on the phone is one way to give someone your full attention and ensure that you have chemistry with each other. 

After all, there’s no time to stop and think of a witty response to a question or filter your thoughts thoroughly.

He’s attempting to become a part of your daily routine by talking on the phone. This is his way of strengthening the connection you two already share.

So don’t feel self-conscious about picking up his call, and let the romance take you both into new beginnings. 

4. He has a controlling personality 

When a guy calls you multiple times a day, it can either come off as extremely endearing or possessive and controlling.

This is where your judgment will have to come into play. To determine his motives, you must pay attention to the types of questions he asks you.

Does it feel like he’s quizzing you on your whereabouts and how you spend your day? 

Is he asking you highly invasive questions that make you feel uncomfortable? You may also notice that he becomes aggressive or irritable when you mention that you hung out with some coworkers after work or went to a bar with your girlfriends.

If he begins to raise his voice at you or put you down for having fun without him, then that’s a huge red flag that he has a controlling personality.

Responding to this type of behavior only allows for it to continue. Stop picking up his phone calls when he shows you this side of his personality. 

5. He feels comfortable around you 

Gathering the courage to call someone and get on the phone with them can be nerve-racking.

A phone call can easily go sideways, especially if the guy happens to be timid or shy. Getting on phone calls with you shows that he feels like he can be himself around you and not feel judged for saying “the wrong thing.”

Getting on a call increases the vulnerability between you two and speeds up the process of getting to know each other. Since he has enjoyed texting you a lot until now, calling you is another way to show how comfortable he feels around you. 

6. He’s clingy 

Is he excited to speak with you, or is he trying to reassure himself that you even like him to begin with?

While the guy you’re talking to might be interested, he may also be incredibly insecure about the connection.

To cope with his insecurity, he calls you and tries to get you on the phone as often as possible. He most likely does this to ensure you will still pick up and are still into him. 

Texting you isn’t enough when he doesn’t feel secure with where he stands with you. In this type of situation, the conversations can feel like they’re dragging on, and the chemistry is off.

He may ask for reassurance about your date for next week after you already confirmed plans on the last phone call or he may sound incredibly nervous while talking about anything.

While it may come off as cute, it can also signify that he may become even clingier as the relationship progresses. 

7. He’s trying to hide something 

Not every guy out there has pure intentions when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, some men treat dating like a sports game; their ultimate goal is always to score.

In this scenario, if you find that he’s always calling you instead of texting it may be because he has something to hide. If he happens to have a girlfriend or a wife, he may not want to have texts sitting on his phone that can get him caught.

In this type of situation, you will need to find out his real intentions by paying attention to what the phone conversations center around.

If he seems to be hiding something or only wants to see you during odd hours, he may have a girlfriend or wife he doesn’t want you to know about. 

8. He considers you his best friend 

If you and the guy have been friends for a while, he may call you because he considers you a great friend.

Maybe he isn’t sure about how far he wants to take things romantically, but he is sure that he enjoys your company and knows he can count on you to be there for him.

If he never plans romantic dates and doesn’t playfully tease you, then you may not be on his radar as a potential girlfriend.

He may even share his secrets with you over the phone because he isn’t worried about your judgments or presenting himself as the ‘perfect mate’ in front of you.

While the friend zone can be a frustrating place to be in if you have real feelings for the guy, it’s also one of the best places to be to move the relationship forward. 

9. He’s in love with you 

If he’s calling you daily, asking you how your day is, and making an effort to have long and intimate conversations, then it’s incredibly likely that he’s secretly in love with you.

Not all men are great at expressing their feelings. Especially ones as particularly vulnerable as love. However, if most of his texts ask about the next time you can get on the phone together, he wants to stay connected.

Your connection means a lot to him, and he’s happy to put in the extra effort to make it work. If he tells you about his day, praises you on the phone, and is always happy to hear from you, he may be harboring deep feelings. 

Is Calling Better Than Texting?

No matter how the guy you’re interested in decides to reach out, hearing from him at all in the initial stages of dating can be extremely exciting.

These days, texting has become our most used method of communication. 

With how convenient and accessible texting keeps us, it makes perfect sense that it would begin to replace phone calls.

Our modern lives keep us busy and being able to text while you’re running errands or are busy at an office meeting allows us to keep in contact with everyone that we love and care about. 

However, one of the biggest drawbacks to texting is that it often feels much less personal. How often have you gone on a date with a guy whose voice you’ve never heard before and were completely thrown off by how different he seemed outside of texting?

While texting allows easier access to one another, it also prevents us from creating deeper connections. 

Are Phone Calls More Intimate And Serious?

Unlike texting, a phone call places you in the here and now. When a guy calls you, it may be his way of showing you that he cares and that you’re important to him. Hearing someone’s voice allows you to understand how they really feel.

You can better understand his sense of humor, and he can better understand what you’re passionate about. 

Along with feeling the immediate presence of the other person, it also forces you to speak without a filter. Texting allows us to create a curated message and image of ourselves.

However, studies have shown that phone calls require us to be more vulnerable and thanks to that, you can also create a deeper connection. 

Here are some other ways phone calls prove to be more intimate: 


1. Calls allow you to communicate more efficiently 

Even though texting makes it easier to talk whenever we’d like, it’s also responsible for many misunderstandings

Text messages make it difficult to understand the other person’s tone; sometimes, plans can be completely ruined due to misreading a single text. That’s why a lot of guys prefer calling.

It’s much easier to set up plans, tell a joke, or even explain a funny situation that just happened to you on a phone call than through text. There’s a reason why so many professionals recommend that serious conversations stay off of texts. 

2. Phone calls to keep you present 

Phone calls are a fast way to get information across. While texting, you could be waiting a while for an answer.

The same could be said on your end if you are busy and are trying to multitask while conversing over text. He could be sitting there waiting a while for your response.

When you’re on the phone with someone, your attention is on them. If your attention is elsewhere, it’ll be evident quickly. Connecting in real-time gives you the unique opportunity to listen to the other person and ensure your message comes across clearly. 

3. The awkward beginnings make way for a stronger connection 

When we get on a call, all of our barriers are down. This is especially true when you compare it to texting.

You can’t sit there all day thinking about how to respond to them. There isn’t enough time on a call. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. There’s a reason why getting on a phone call can be so intimidating from the start. 

However, pressing through the initial awkwardness of not knowing what to say is what ultimately builds the strong bonds for a new relationship.

On a call, we can tell when the other person is smiling and hear it in their voice when they’re upset. These social cues allow us to respond more authentically and help to build trust quicker. 

4. We’re more honest on the phone 

People are often more inclined to be honest with you regarding phone calls. This is because you can better read someone’s emotions and decipher the tone of someone’s voice better.

It’s easy to keep your distance from someone when you don’t have to hear their phone and real-time reaction. On the flip side, when you’re on a call and building trust, you can begin to reveal certain parts of yourselves to one another.

Studies have found that when people were texting, they were more likely to be deceptive about their whereabouts than being asked on the phone. Texts allow us to be vaguer and omit certain details. 

Do Men Prefer to Text or Call? (and why)

With the invention of smartphones, texting has become the default way to contact someone.

Men see texting as an easy and pressure-free way to communicate. However, women see texting as a man’s way of putting in very little effort. Men can underestimate how far a connection can go when you can hear the other person’s voice. 

There are a lot of reasons why men may prefer to text over getting on an actual phone call. If you’re starting to wonder why the guy you like is only ever texting you, then here are some insights into what he might be thinking. 


1. He feels awkward on phone calls. 

Not every person is an absolute charmer when it comes to communicating. Some men are naturally shy, especially when it comes down to hopping on a call with a girl they like a lot.

Running out of things and getting out of breath are all real problems that they worry about. While some people like to say that men are naturally less talkative than women, that’s not backed by data.

Data has found that men and women speak roughly the same amount of words in a day.  With texting, all of that nervousness gets thrown away as he has time to think of the perfect answer. 

2. He’s afraid of getting rejected 

Fear of rejection is a real thing. Men text because the idea of phoning the girl and the call going straight to voicemail can be pretty disheartening.

While you might just be busy, they don’t always know why the call isn’t being answered. More insecure men may take an unanswered call as a hint that you’re not interested in them. 

3. He’s just not that into you 

If a guy never makes the effort to call you, then he may not be that into you. He’s texting to stay in contact with as minimal effort as possible.

Maybe he’s not interested in taking things to the next level with you. Talking on the phone is a way to build intimacy with someone, and he could be trying to avoid that if he’s not as emotionally invested in you. 

4. He’s just busy 

Some men lead incredibly busy lifestyles. He could be busy with many work projects, family obligations, etc.

This doesn’t leave him much free time to hop on phone calls to chat. If you are also busy, it can feel impossible to coordinate a time to get on the phone that doesn’t interfere with your schedules.

If this is the situation, you must be honest about it and figure out times to schedule phone calls. Otherwise, major communication issues like this will prevent the relationship from deepening. 

How Do You Get Him To Call You And Not Text?

Is it a good sign if a guy calls you? Is it a bad sign if he doesn’t? If you’re looking for a serious relationship with the guy you’re dating, then lack of phone time can present an issue. 

If you’re hoping to get him on the phone more and aren’t sure what to do, here are a few suggestions. 


1. Become an enigma 

Sometimes, being a mystery is one of the best ways to get someone’s attention. If you want the guy to start calling you, then do your best to restrain how much you respond over text. Don’t give out too much information, and try to keep your responses engaging but short.

Ask him questions about himself, but do your best to keep the mystery around yourself for as long as possible. Don’t let him think he knows you well from the start.

If he’s interested in you, then the curiosity will begin to drive him mad. He’ll want to know more about you and will eventually phone you to get to know you better. 

2. Don’t answer his messages right away 

Stepping away from your phone is the best way to keep him on his toes. If you’re always answering his text messages and replying to his social media messages, he’ll feel like he won’t have to make the extra effort to get your attention.

The more time you spend away from your phone, the more he’ll wonder about you. Once you stop replying to his text within seconds or even minutes, he’ll want to know what you’re up to. Eventually, he’ll be driven to needing to get you on the phone. 

3. Be the first one to call 

Some men are too shy to initiate the first call even when they like you. So why not take the plunge and call him first? This is a great way to reassure him that you’re interested, and you can also better gauge if he likes you.

Sometimes it takes one person’s courage to break the ice. Once you get past the initial awkwardness, if your guy likes you, he’ll be more likely to initiate the next few phone calls. 

4. Ask him to call you 

There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. When the guy asks you for your number, be sure to tell him that you’ll be waiting on his call to put some pressure on him.

Or if you’ve already gone on a date, reach out and let him know that you’d like for him to give you a call. Often, men are hesitant to call because they’re afraid of rejection or looking too desperate.

Letting him know that you’d love to hear his voice will make him feel more comfortable and confident in giving you a call.  

How Do You Know If He Likes You Over The Phone?

After working your magic on the guy you like and finally getting him on the phone, you may wonder whether he likes you.

Sometimes it can be hard to decipher someone’s intentions without reading their body language, especially if the guy is particularly shy and not as expressive on the phone. If you’re wondering if he likes you, then here are some clues to keep in the back of your mind on your next call. 


1. He calls you every day 

As mentioned above, not all guys are expert communicators. Many will opt for text messaging to keep the conversation going and will rarely pick up the phone.

But if your guy calls you regularly, that’s a pretty great sign that he likes you. For starters, it means he’s willing to put himself in a vulnerable situation to get to know you better.

It also means he wants to become a part of your daily routine. By calling you daily, he’s showing his interest in you and the potential of your new relationship. 

2. He’s engaged in the conversation 

Is he engaging in the conversation with you? Does he remember small details about you and your life, like your pet’s name or your favorite color? These are all great indicators that he likes you.

When a guy juggles more than one girl or isn’t excited about your connection, keeping track of small details and conversations will be hard.

When a guy wants you to know he likes you, he’ll go out of his way to ensure you know he remembers the small things. 

3. He’s flirting with you on the call 

Is he extra playful on your phone calls and sweetly teasing you? His behavior is never outright mean or aggressive; but instead, it’s silly and makes you smile.

He might come up with a cute nickname for you or tell you how beautiful he thinks you are. This rings especially true when a guy wants to video call you.

If he’s interested in video chatting, then he wants to be able to read your expressions and deepen the level of your connection. Unlike traditional phone calls, you can see when someone smiles and reads non-verbal cues with a Facetime session. 

4. He starts using the word “we” a lot when referring to your plans 

When a man is serious about his feelings for a woman, he imagines a future with her. You’ll begin to pick up on this by how he phrases his plans around you.

You can bet he likes you if he’s making plans and saying things such as, “We should go to the movies this weekend” or “We get along so well.”

These are all signs that he’s already beginning to think of the two of you as a couple. He sees a future here, and that means that he likes you.