You call. You text. You email. You write (remember those days?)

What works?

Nothing.

And so you’re left, watching your dignity and desire fight in the ring. Which one will win? What do you feel you deserve more of at this moment in time?

When somebody is not giving you half the attention or affection you’re asking for, why settle for a breadcrumb?

The truth is – your version of what you deserve is distorted.

Clearing it up is how you start to be done with somebody who never cared about you.

The Push and Pull

It can feel neverending. 

One minute you’re totally in love, and they’re happy to be with you. Next, they dispose of you as if you’re some kind of garbage headed straight for the trash can. 

You try and try to make them see that you’re a good person who is trying hard to be a part of their life, and in return you get treated as if you don’t even exist. 

Is that a way to live?

The push and pull of relationships like this can become strangely addictive when you reflect on them.

The ‘hot’ is very hot, and you live for that kind of constant heat. But when it gets cold, it hurts.

It’s so cold that it penetrates your soul, and you long for some kind of emotional blanket from them in order to get warm again.

But that blanket never comes.

And the warmth also stays at bay. 

The problem becomes those odd occasions where the warmth does decide to make a very temporary return.

You think it’s the most welcome thing in the world. 

They love you!

They want you!

They missed you!

It’s all going to be okay!

You believe their apology!

Your efforts paid off!

And that last point? That’s the one. That’s the problem with continuing to try with somebody who doesn’t care about you.

When they act briefly as if they do, you think that all the effort you put into trying has worked.

And so that keeps your effort alive for the future. 

Why Don’t You Want Me?

Sometimes this is a tough pill to swallow. 

The person you love and want doesn’t love or want you back. 

What could possibly cut like a knife more?

Immediately, you turn to yourself. You look in the mirror and wonder what it is that’s specifically wrong with you. 

Does there have to be anything wrong, though?

Could it just not be that you tried to love somebody who is impossible to love or understand?

Could it just be that you tried to love somebody who doesn’t know how to love, for whatever reason that might be?

And trying to fix them, well, is that even your job? Can you fix what isn’t yours to fix? 

You aren’t going to be able to do that, and why should you? 

The need to fix others can come from experiencing having to do that in the past. Your worth isn’t determined by your ability to solve problems. 

Letting people teach you that this is how your worth is made up is a huge mistake, and a huge power, to hand over to them. 

These Insecurities Are Heavy!

And they can really weigh you down each and every day, can’t they?

The honest truth among all of this is knowing that the reason you’ve kept trying, is because you’re too insecure to let go. 

Letting go means accepting something didn’t go the way you’d hoped. Letting go means being alone. 

Those envisions are challenging when you’re accompanied by a low self-esteem. 

I Am Done Trying To Please You!

What’s the point when it is never met with understanding or any kind of appreciation?

When you constantly try to please somebody without getting anywhere, you’ll just find your energy drained, and drained, and drained. 

While they take everything you have to give, you’re left with nothing and they’re absolutely fine.

But look what I did there, did you spot it?

When they take everything you have to give.

Why are you so freely giving it all away?

Offer a certain amount, and if they don’t accept it, you keep the rest of it for yourself and you move on.

Dignity and remaining energy intact. 

You Made Me Question My Worth

As is often the case when you try too hard with no response.

Your worth is hung out to dry and left to boil in the heat. 

And then you go to the mirror, and you take a long, hard look at yourself. 

You see your reflection staring back at you, and it’s a person you no longer recognize. 

Who is it? You with those sad eyes. The smile that has faded into uncertainty. 

Your worth has gone; stolen from you as if it were theirs to take without asking. 

People with little to no self-worth will feel:

• Anxious
• Depressed
• Hurt
• As if they have no direction in life
• Like they have no interest in the things they used to love

Is that who you want to be?

You’re done. 

They don’t get to hurt you any more. 

Like It’s All My Fault

The blame game is always the worst, especially when it’s pinned on you. 

What did you do wrong?

When you’re made to feel to blame for something, it’s only your distorted view of the situation that will tell you this isn’t the case.

The person who tells you that you’re too much is only saying they’re not used to the level of love you brought to the table.

That’s not something your love can fix, and if it scares them away, then that’s got to be their issue to resolve.

This has nothing to do with you. 

Your Silence Is All The Closure I Need

It’s possible to be ghosted, but it’s got to be one of the most hurtful ways to end a relationship, or even friendship. 

One moment they’re there, giving you everything. Next, they’re gone. You try to look for them, but they’ve left no trace.

You’re blocked on everything, and when you try to call you get the busy tone. 

We look for closure in those moments, but it’s extremely hard to find when nobody is on the other end telling you why. What they feel you did wrong. How they felt. 

When they take themselves away, they take away the potential for you to get that closure, but one vital aspect here is missing:

When a person leaves you silently, that silence is all the closure you need in order to move on.

You don’t have to wait for them to tell you that they don’t care. Don’t give them that power.

A Person Meant For You Will Do These 3 Things!

In life, we all want to know that the person we’re with is meant for us.

Nobody wants to waste their time building a foundation that’s only destined to be knocked down.

We don’t have that kind of energy.

Do you remember a situation where you felt this?

It is beautiful to see a person before you with whom you wanted it all to work out.

If you want clarity, I have carefully crafted three things you need to look out for to ensure you know a person is good for you.

I don’t want to talk about money. I don’t want to talk about promises.

I don’t want roses, or chocolates, or a movie date. (Well, the chocolates I … No…. Forget it).

Kissing Too Many Frogs

Some might see the fun in kissing frogs, but others not so much.

What do you think about it? Putting yourself out there and searching for

The One is not as easy as the movies make it. 

There’s usually no meeting up the top of the Empire State Building,

and no meet cute where doves are released and a nice soothing song is playing in the background. 

When you do meet that one meant for you, it will be confirmed only in time, and you have to trust time as a process in general. 

Needing to Raise The Bar

So with all those frogs you have kissed, there has to be a time you meet the prince or princess. 

As we all look for various traits in a person, it’s equally imperative to ensure they match with you in terms of values and morals, too.

So the following three things will be where you start in defining your forever with somebody. 

Let your one true love reveal themselves…. now!

These 3 Things Will Reveal A Person is Meant For You

#1 Connection

The big one.

Connection.

There’s little to no point in attempting a relationship with a person you don’t ‘feel.’ 

Tell me now through the power of thought teleportation that you have tried this.

Some of you may have even really convinced yourself that this one particular person has it all.

The wondrous way they make you feel, the way they make you laugh, the sex.

But what about when all of that is taken away? What is there left? 

Connection is when two people feel drawn to each other, and use that as the center of where everything else grows.

You consciously want to be together, and like moths to a flame, you were drawn to one another for more reasons than just those that scratch the surface. 

Connections can look like:

• How you communicate
• Allowing each other to be vulnerable
• Expressing gratitude; being grateful for the little things
• Kissing or hugging
• Conscious respect and trust

Some things go a really long way.

If you’re looking for a person who is meant for you, you need to look out for a connection that lasts, and not one meant to wither away quickly. 

It is in the permanence of connection you will see the permanence of love. 

#2 Want To Understand You

What does understanding mean to you?

I’ll give you an example.

Sally had a hard childhood, where one parent was incredibly overprotective, and the other was abusive.

She constantly felt batted between neglect and coddled.

Most days were filled with an underlying anxiety of, “What’s going to happen today? What mood will my dad be in?”

Some of those moods consisted of coming home from work with candy for her, and hearing from him that she is the light of his life.

Other days, he wouldn’t even speak to her. If she tried to engage, he would shout and criticize. 

Sally grew up wanting to make a change in her life, but never really knowing or having the tools to do so.

As time went on, she knew she wanted to meet somebody the opposite of her father. 

Sally met Robert, who was a quiet man. He sometimes struggled to find the right words, and he was the kind of man who would go about life without the need to brag, or buy the most expensive things.

He was happy, and content with what he had, and he wanted to find somebody special to share it with. 

When Sally met Robert, they enjoyed each other’s company. Over time, Sally told Robert about her childhood, and Robert spoke about his (not perfect for other reasons).

It was a moment of true understanding that connected them further.

This understanding came from Sally listening to what Robert had to say, and for Robert to understand that Sally’s childhood left scars.

Robert didn’t want to re-open those scars. Instead, he wanted to be the person who nurtured them.

He understood that Sally needed support from time to time, or reassurance that helped Sally feel validated. 

This is exactly what I mean by understanding.

The conscious effort to take the person you’re with, and understand that they’re made up of a million tiny pieces.

Life can get complex, and understanding only means finding a person meant for you. 

#3 Let You Be You

Acceptance.

I accept you for you, and you accept me for me.

Nobody is trying to change anybody, and neither person is attempting to manipulate them into losing themselves. 

Isn’t that what life and love is all about? I know for me, that’s where the real magic is. 

When you can authentically be yourself, you remain free to explore what goals and hobbies you have.

You get to hold onto what’s important to you, and what you feel strongly about.

None of it is called into question, or criticized.

This is what I mean when I say somebody is intended for you.

They are in no way displaying any signs of toxicity. They just want to see you happy and enjoy it when you are. 

Settling For Less

Some of you out there may be settling for less. Getting stuck into the habits and routines of ‘good enough for right now.’ 

I wanted to raise these three things as a standard that everybody should set for themselves.

With all three components, you know you’ve found somebody you’re meant to be with, and I feel that’s something we all deserve. 

Too often, these become lost in the fight for short-term attention or temporary gratification. 

No relationship can sustain such shallow waters, so for anything more.

There needs to be more awareness of who you are and the type of person you want to match physically, emotionally, and mentally.