Are you looking for romantic questions to ask your partner? Maybe you and your partner talk to each other all the time. You think you know everything there is to know about them. You might even take your closeness for granted!
But take a moment to ask yourself this- how emotionally intimate do things feel? How well do you really think you know your partner?
What burning questions have you always wanted to ask? Whether dating for just a few weeks or married for many years, here is the definitive guide of romantic questions to ask your partner.
- #1 What Makes You Feel Connected to Me?
- #2 What’s Your Favorite Memory of Us?
- #3 What’s the Best Part of Our Relationship?
- #4 What Is Your Favorite Part of Me?
- #5 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Try?
- #6 What Did You Learn the Most From Your Last Relationship?
- #7 What Does Trust Mean to You?
- #8 How Do You Feel About Our Sex Life?
- #9 What Do You Think of Our Home?
- #10 What’s Something You Want to Change About Yourself?
- #11 What Does a Perfect Day Look Like to You?
- #12 What’s an Activity You’ve Always Wanted to Try?
- #13 What’s a Vice You Can’t Seem to Let Go Of?
- #14 Can You Share a Fantasy You Have About Me?
- #15 Do You Believe in Soul Mates?
- #16 What Makes You Most Scared in Our Relationship?
- #17 Where Do You See Us in Ten Years?
- #18 What’s Something You’re Willing to Compromise on in Our Relationship?
- #19 When Do You Feel Most Lonely?
- #20 What About Me Annoys You the Most?
- #21 What Are Your Thoughts on Having Children?
- #22 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Prioritize?
- #23 What Makes You Feel Jealous?
- #24 How Do You Feel About How Often We Spend Time Together?
- #25 What Turns You on the Most?
- #26 If You Could Take Me Anywhere in the World, Where Would You Take Me?
- #27 What Makes You Feel Angry?
- #28 Why Do You Think We’re Together?
- #29 What Song Reminds You of Me?
- #30 What’s the Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Done?
- #31 How Did Your Parents Show You Love?
- #32 What Was Your First Impression of Me?
- #33 What Does Love Really Mean to You?
- #34 How Important Is Romance to You in Our Relationship?
- #35 What Was the Hardest Decision You Ever Had to Make?
- #36 When, if Ever, Is Lying Acceptable?
- #37 What Word Best Describes Our Relationship?
- #38 What Does Safety Mean to You?
- #39 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Afraid?
- #40 How Can I Make You Feel More Loved Each Day?
- #41 What’s a Compliment You’ll Always Remember?
- #42 When You Feel Sad, How Can I Best Support You?
- #43 How Do You Feel About the Way We Handle Conflict?
- #44 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Close to Me?
- #45 What Do You Still Need From Me in This Relationship?
- #46 How Can I Show You How Special You Are?
- #47 When Do You Need Alone Time?
- #48 What’s Your Favorite Meal We Eat Together?
- #49 If We Couldn’t Spend Any Money, What Would You Do With Me All Day?
- #50 What Are Your Thoughts on Growing Old Together?
- #51 How Do You Feel About Our Level of Commitment?
- #52 Whose Relationship Do You Really Admire?
- #53 Do I Ever Make You Feel Insecure?
- #54 What’s Your Biggest Source of Stress Right Now?
- #55 What Was the Last Nightmare You Had?
- #56 How Do You Feel About My Family?
- #57 Do You Feel Like You Can Tell Me Anything?
- #58 What Did You Dream Of Being When You Were a Little Kid?
- #59 How Do You Feel About the Boundaries in Our Relationship?
- #60 What Small Thing About Me Would You Miss the Most if I Was Gone?
- #61 How Happy Are You With Your Life?
- #62 What Do You Want Us to Stop Doing?
#1 What Makes You Feel Connected to Me?
Asking this sweet question can offer telling insight into what your partner values.
Maybe they love when you cuddle up to them before going to bed. Perhaps they feel most cared for when you sit down and ask them how they’re doing that day. Either way, you probably won’t know until you ask!
#2 What’s Your Favorite Memory of Us?
This question encourages you both to reflect fondly on your past. You might also be surprised by their answer- there’s a chance your partner really enjoyed something that may have seemed completely insignificant to you.
#3 What’s the Best Part of Our Relationship?
Why is your partner glad to be in a relationship with you? What makes it so amazing to them?
Knowing this answer can help you make sure you prioritize the parts that seem most special.
#4 What Is Your Favorite Part of Me?
Even if your partner always compliments you, do you really know what they love the most about you?
If not, here’s a great question to ask! Make sure that you return the favor by letting them know your favorite part, too!
#5 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Try?
Even if you two have been together for a long time, there’s a good chance your partner is open to trying something new together!
This question can help couples escape ruts and inspire new ways to connect.
#6 What Did You Learn the Most From Your Last Relationship?
What are the things they learned in a past relationship? This is one of the most important questions for a new relationship. Their answer can reveal important information about how they processed the past and grew from those experiences.
A decent person is mature enough to identify and share the insight they obtained.
But if they continuously badmouth their ex, that’s probably a red flag!
#7 What Does Trust Mean to You?
We all know that trust is essential for a healthy relationship, but the definition of trust is subjective.
What it means to you may drastically differ from what it means to your partner.
So, take some time to explore the concept of trust and its role in your relationship. If you’re dealing with a player, you probably want to know early on!
#8 How Do You Feel About Our Sex Life?
Sex is an important part of feeling connected, and it’s a good idea for you and your partner to have routine discussions about it.
Asking them this open-ended question may spark a conversation about how things are going in the bedroom.
#9 What Do You Think of Our Home?
Homes can reflect moods, personalities, and connectivity. How you take care of your home can be a clue as to how well you care for yourselves.
Asking this important question may help you decide if you want to improve.
#10 What’s Something You Want to Change About Yourself?
How does your partner want to grow? What changes do they hope to make in the future? In general, you want a partner who’s open to being the best version of themselves they can be.
So, if they can’t answer this question- or if there’s nothing they identify as wanting to change- that could be a problem.
#11 What Does a Perfect Day Look Like to You?
Do you know what makes your partner genuinely happy? What would make a perfect day for them if they had no distractions?
As a bonus, knowing this answer may inspire you to plan this perfect day for them, and nothing is more romantic than that!
#12 What’s an Activity You’ve Always Wanted to Try?
Whether it’s snowboarding or sculpting, most of us have activities that pique our interest.
We just haven’t gotten around to doing them. Asking your partner this question may inspire them to take the plunge and try- or it may encourage you both to try something new together.
#13 What’s a Vice You Can’t Seem to Let Go Of?
Nobody is perfect, and partners in healthy relationships accept one another’s flaws. This question encourages self-reflection and may spark dialogue about areas where you both want to improve.
#14 Can You Share a Fantasy You Have About Me?
Think you know everything about your partner. Think again! We all have fantasies- some of us tend to be more private about them than others.
If your partner is willing to answer this question, it probably means they trust you deeply!
#15 Do You Believe in Soul Mates?
Some people do, and some don’t, but it can be romantic to know where your partner stands on this question.
If they do believe in soul mates, you might want to follow up by asking, Do you think you’ve found your soul mate?
#16 What Makes You Most Scared in Our Relationship?
Fear is normal in any relationship, but what makes your partner worry the most?
The possibility of you leaving them for someone else? You getting sick or dying?
Although these answers may seem morbid, knowing their concerns can help you be a more supportive and loving partner to them.
#17 Where Do You See Us in Ten Years?
One of the best questions to ask to get to know someone romantically is determining if they truly see themselves having a future with you.
If this question makes them squirm- or if they only offer a vague, non-committal answer, it may mean they aren’t ready to take that next step.
#18 What’s Something You’re Willing to Compromise on in Our Relationship?
Has your partner surrendered to letting the dog sleep with you in bed? Have they accepted that you like to go to bed much later than them?
All relationships require some element of compromise- knowing where your partner stands on this issue can bring forth greater connection.
#19 When Do You Feel Most Lonely?
Nobody likes the idea of their partner feeling lonely, but most of us struggle with this feeling occasionally.
Knowing when it happens to your partner can help you be more attuned and empathic to their needs.
#20 What About Me Annoys You the Most?
You may not love the answer, but it’s still a good idea to know what your partner doesn’t really like about you.
Why? Because it may be a habit, you can work on or try to change it. Or, it may represent a deeper issue that you two must resolve together.
#21 What Are Your Thoughts on Having Children?
Children can be one of the most polarizing issues a couple faces. That’s because there isn’t much of an ability to compromise.
If one of you really doesn’t want children- but the other does- the relationship may not be salvageable.
That’s why it’s ideal to have this conversation early on in the relationship. Revisit it often, particularly if one of you is starting to feel ready.
#22 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Prioritize?
Maybe your partner wishes to travel more. Perhaps they want to save money and get out of debt. Knowing their priorities can help you support their goals.
#23 What Makes You Feel Jealous?
We all get jealous, but it’s helpful to know your partner’s triggers. For example, do they feel jealous when you spend one-on-one time with someone of the opposite sex?
Do they feel jealous if they’re around people who are more successful than them?
The goal, of course, isn’t for you to protect them from these triggers. But learning about them can help you be more mindful and compassionate of the role they might play.
#24 How Do You Feel About How Often We Spend Time Together?
Everyone has a different definition of what makes adequate quality time.
It’s a good idea to routinely check in with your partner to determine if you’re making the most of your time together. You may discover they want more time!
#25 What Turns You on the Most?
Knowing what drives your partner wild promotes a healthy and enjoyable sex life. If you know what turns them on, you can focus more on that!
#26 If You Could Take Me Anywhere in the World, Where Would You Take Me?
Is it Paris? Disneyland? Antarctica? Is it somewhere you’ve always talked about going together- or somewhere they think you’d love?
This is a fun question that can spark some enjoyable conversations about travel, leisure time, and how you two prioritize time together.
#27 What Makes You Feel Angry?
Do you know what triggers your partner’s anger? If not, this is a good question to ask.
It can help you be more mindful of things you do that may cause frustration. But it can also help your partner recognize if they need to be more
#28 Why Do You Think We’re Together?
Does your partner believe in destiny? Do they assume you’re together because you share so many common interests?
Asking this question can spark some interesting conversation about the purpose of relationships- and why you two are in one!
#29 What Song Reminds You of Me?
Music can be profoundly intimate. Maybe a song you two listened to reminds your partner of you when you first met.
Or perhaps it’s a song they just really love- and the lyrics remind them of the times you two have had together.
#30 What’s the Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Done?
You might think you know everything about everything when it comes to turning your partner on. But you may never really know if you don’t ask this question!
#31 How Did Your Parents Show You Love?
So much of what we value in relationships comes down to patterns we learned in our earliest relationships.
Families, therefore, play a direct role in shaping how partners give and receive love.
This question will ideally spark an important conversation about your partner’s priorities regarding your relationship.
#32 What Was Your First Impression of Me?
Were they nervous around you? Did they find you beautiful? Funny? Did they feel like they had to get to know you better?
First impressions can go a long way in cementing relationships, and knowing where your partner stands can send you both down a fond memory lane.
#33 What Does Love Really Mean to You?
Love can mean so many different things. For some people, it means that they feel like the other person completes them.
For others, it’s more of a logical connection- it’s someone they feel safe to be themselves around with and build a life with.
Knowing your partner’s definition opens the door for more intimate conversations about connection and faithfulness.
#34 How Important Is Romance to You in Our Relationship?
Some people really value romance and find it a non-negotiable part of their relationships.
Others see it as a luxury- maybe it’s nice to have, but it isn’t necessary.
We may resent our partners if we don’t know where they stand regarding romance. So, knowing this answer can help you maintain realistic expectations about your relationship.
Do you want to increase the romance? Nothing is more romantic than sending cute paragraphs to your crush
#35 What Was the Hardest Decision You Ever Had to Make?
Even if your partner has had a relatively good life, there’s a good chance they’ve faced adversity.
Likewise, they have probably needed to make challenging, painful choices.
Knowing your partner’s answers can help you cultivate greater insight into their strengths- and find more empathy for their weaknesses.
#36 When, if Ever, Is Lying Acceptable?
Some people think lying is always wrong. Others find exceptions to the rule. Knowing where your partner stands can help you both establish healthy relationship boundaries.
#37 What Word Best Describes Our Relationship?
This fun and playful question encourages your partner to think about what your relationship encompasses.
Whatever word they come up with, you can follow up by asking if they’re happy with that word defining your relationship.
#38 What Does Safety Mean to You?
We all want to feel safe in our relationships. We want to know that our partner has our back and can be there for us when we need them the most.
But does your partner have a different definition or priority regarding safety?
Knowing if they do can help ensure that you do your best to accommodate this need.
#39 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Afraid?
Knowing your partner’s fears can help you be more sensitive to their moods and needs.
You can’t necessarily protect them from feeling scared, but you can aim to be a positive source of support.
#40 How Can I Make You Feel More Loved Each Day?
Can your partner identify any small gestures you can do to make them feel special?
Is it as easy as greeting them with a warm smile when they get home? Do they feel thrilled when they receive a random text in the middle of the day?
Knowing what does- or doesn’t- make them feel loved can ensure you actually do things that add value to the relationship.
#41 What’s a Compliment You’ll Always Remember?
How has your partner felt appreciated or loved in the past? What made them feel really good about themselves?
This is not to say that you need to repeat those compliments– that might be disingenuous- but knowing what makes them feel treasured helps foster more romance and intimacy.
#42 When You Feel Sad, How Can I Best Support You?
Relationships are great when everyone is happy. But they tend to count when the cards are down and one of you is struggling.
When that’s the case, you must know what your partner needs from you.
Being prepared can help you intervene appropriately the next time they’re having a hard time, whether it’s patience, validation, or a pint of ice cream.
#43 How Do You Feel About the Way We Handle Conflict?
It may not sound romantic, but knowing how you two approach conflict can reveal valuable insight into your level of relationship satisfaction.
If, for example, your partner feels anxious or upset about how you two argue, it’s probably time to reassess.
#44 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Close to Me?
Even in healthy relationships, partners tend to ebb and flow with their level of closeness.
That’s why knowing what fosters closeness is important for your partner.
Knowing this information can help you prioritize doing more of what works.
#45 What Do You Still Need From Me in This Relationship?
Sure, you two may feel happy and content. But is there room for growth? Are there areas where you can improve?
If your partner can give you that feedback, it allows you to focus on trying to meet those needs (assuming they are realistic and appropriate).
#46 How Can I Show You How Special You Are?
This question might make your partner blush, but you should still ask it!
If you truly love your partner, you’ll want to make every effort to make them feel special.
But knowing how you can achieve this eliminates excess guesswork.
#47 When Do You Need Alone Time?
Even though you two may feel obsessed with one another, everyone needs alone time to regroup.
Alone time helps each of you recharge your emotional batteries. But knowing when your partner needs alone time is important.
They might crave it first thing in the morning or need it right when they get home from work.
#48 What’s Your Favorite Meal We Eat Together?
Food can be love, but there’s a good chance you don’t even consider the emotions in the meals you eat together.
That’s why asking your partner is such a good idea. If it’s a homemade meal, you now have an incentive to cook it more frequently!
#49 If We Couldn’t Spend Any Money, What Would You Do With Me All Day?
Sure, you may dream of flying first-class around the world or traipsing on a private yacht, but there’s something inherently romantic about being creative with your time together.
How would you occupy your time if you two couldn’t spend any cash? The next step is considering challenging yourselves to do exactly that!
#50 What Are Your Thoughts on Growing Old Together?
Does long-term commitment excite or scare your partner?
It may be both, but knowing this answer is valuable, especially if you’re starting to map out goals for marriage or children.
#51 How Do You Feel About Our Level of Commitment?
If you two are early into dating, you may not exactly know where your partner stands.
But asking directly helps establish a baseline for your relationship. If they feel satisfied with how things are (but you want more commitment), that means it’s time to sit down and talk.
#52 Whose Relationship Do You Really Admire?
Does your partner really look up to someone else’s relationship? In their opinion, who truly embodies the notion of couples goals? Knowing this answer can help you see how your own relationship stacks up.
#53 Do I Ever Make You Feel Insecure?
It can be an uncomfortable question to ask, but it’s valuable to know if you unintentionally do something that affects your partner’s confidence. If you do, you can take reasonable steps to correct your actions moving forward.
#54 What’s Your Biggest Source of Stress Right Now?
Do you know what’s weighing your partner down? Keying into their stress can ideally help you be more sensitive to their needs.
Perhaps, you two can also come together to strategize how to manage this particular problem.
#55 What Was the Last Nightmare You Had?
Our dreams can reveal specific themes in our conscious lives. By asking about your partner’s most recent nightmare, you’re opening a conversation about current struggles, fears, and needs.
If they say they can’t remember their last one, ask them to tell you about any nightmare they recall having lately.
#56 How Do You Feel About My Family?
Families can make or break relationships, especially if you’re close with your relatives and value spending much time together.
The important takeaway here is to be open to what your partner has to say.
If you react defensively, you signify that you don’t really care about their genuine opinion.
#57 Do You Feel Like You Can Tell Me Anything?
Does your partner feel safe confiding in you? Or do they hesitate when they have to discuss something private or shameful?
Knowing if there are any roadblocks in communication can help you two come together to become more safe and intimate.
#58 What Did You Dream Of Being When You Were a Little Kid?
No matter who they are today, it’s always fun to learn about what your partner wanted to do or be when they were younger.
You can answer this question by looking at old baby photos together or reminiscing on other favorite childhood memories.
#59 How Do You Feel About the Boundaries in Our Relationship?
Boundaries are the glue of relationships, but they can sometimes be hard to define or even understand.
You risk feeling resentful or confused with your partner if you don’t have clear boundaries.
So asking this question can start an important conversation about the limits you two have with one another.
#60 What Small Thing About Me Would You Miss the Most if I Was Gone?
Maybe it’s the way you laugh at ridiculous commercials. Perhaps it’s how much you love eating a certain brand of cereal.
Whatever it is, the small details can often define the joys and uniqueness of happy relationships.
Don’t forget to tell your partner the small things you love the most!
#61 How Happy Are You With Your Life?
Does your partner feel content with how things are going? Or are they feeling somewhat sad, restless, or uncertain?
While this question isn’t inherently specific to your relationship, the answer can offer helpful information about how you can support one another in building happy and meaningful lives.
#62 What Do You Want Us to Stop Doing?
It can be a tricky question! But if your partner really thinks about it, you may learn some important insight.
For example, they may want to stop using silent treatment when upset.
Or, they want to stop assuming you can read one another’s minds. The takeaway is that there are no wrong answers to this question.
Instead, it’s important to be open and receptive to what they have to say.