If He Has a Girlfriend, Why Does He Want Me?

You and this guy meet in a bar, and he seems into you. He flirts with you and then asks you for your number or social media. From then on, this guy starts messaging and calling you daily.

You find yourself forming a connection, and things get a little more intimate between you. Somehow, you find out that he already has a girlfriend. Now he has you confused about why he likes you when he is in a current relationship.

Has something like this ever happened to you? If so, you may find yourself wondering,

“Why is he flirting with me when he has a girlfriend?” or “If he has a girlfriend, why does he want me?”

Have you thought, “I thought he liked me, but he has a girlfriend?” Or telling your girlfriends, “He has a girlfriend but wants me too?”

In this piece, we will examine the positive and negative reasons a man chooses to cheat. 

12 Reasons Why He Has a Girlfriend But Wants You

12 Reasons Why He Has a Girlfriend But Wants You

  1. He is not happy with his current relationship
  2. He does not consider his relationship as serious
  3. He has an open-relationship
  4. He has a stronger connection with you
  5. He got into an argument with his girlfriend
  6. His girlfriend cheated
  7. He is a player
  8. Peer pressure
  9. His relationship is boring
  10. He feels neglected by his girlfriend
  11. Being Sneaky
  12. You have something his girlfriend lacks

#1 He is not happy or content with who he has.

A man in a relationship that satisfies him will not want to leave his girlfriend for anyone. What does it mean when a man seeks others for an intimate relationship?

It usually means that his relationship with his partner is not going well. There could be many reasons for him feeling unhappy. But he should communicate with his girlfriend about his feelings and not cheat.

#2 Not in a serious relationship with girlfriend

A relationship isn’t always built on love. Sometimes it has to do with a situation where two people have chosen to endure together. This choice is usually because of a particular thing. It could be because kids are involved or even parents who want to dictate their children’s lives.

His girlfriend could also be a fling and not a serious relationship. This sort of relationship is becoming more and more sought after. Many guys and girls are looking for something chill for sexual pleasure.

It may be because someone he loves has hurt him. He does not want to go through another heartbreak, so he looks for something more manageable. No titles in a relationship mean not having high hopes for a possible future together.

#3 He and his girlfriend agreed to an open-relationship

Today, open relationships are becoming more popular. Many couples agree to have sexual affairs with people outside of their relationships. In this case, his girlfriend is aware of his relations with others and is okay with it.

If you’re ever in this predicament, it would be best to put yourself first. Keep in mind what you want. If you are looking for emotional stability, you most likely will not find it with this guy.

Open relationships have more to do with sexual intent than connection. Also, you will be sharing him with others. Are you okay with that? Then go ahead! If not, he isn’t the one for you.

#4 He has a stronger connection with you than he has with his girlfriend.

You both may have a lot in common and get along well. He might consider you his soul mate. His current relationship wasn’t meant to be because of his connection with you.

He and his girlfriend possibly grew apart and fell out of love. A relationship is stable when there are emotional and physical bonds. If that is lacking, then it becomes a problem.

#5 Got into an argument with his girlfriend

Sometimes, couples get into an argument and stop communicating with each other. This leaves room for cheating. Your guy and his girlfriend could have unresolved problems.

She might have said some hurtful things to him in the heat of the moment. He may have found comfort in talking to you.

#6 His girlfriend may have cheated, and he wants revenge.

This reason is one of the most common. It is also one of the most dangerous reasons of all.

Your guy does not have any real feelings towards you. He only uses you as a pawn to get his girlfriend jealous or hurt her somehow. You should stay away from men with this intention.

Why? Because you’ll end up getting hurt, especially if you like him.

#7 Wants to appear as a player and doesn’t care about the feelings of his girlfriend

The internet has emphasized and praised men for showing a lack of commitment. You can see it online. In songs and movies, they portray that it is okay for men to have many women by their side. One of the reasons men behave in this way is because of these harmful influences.

Men like this go after a carefree woman with low relationship standards. Women who have no real expectations and demands. They lure these women since they do not ask for much.

They target ladies with low self-esteem, who are easy to manipulate. These men are narcissists, and you should be aware of them. They don’t care about anyone but themselves and won’t feel guilty if they hurt you.

#8 Peer pressure from friends

His friends can encourage him to cheat on his girlfriend with you. This usually happens when he and his friends go out.

His friends may tell him you look better than his girlfriend or even bet he will get with you for the night. It’s easy to pressure him into doing the wrong things.

You should guard your heart with men like these. They have no intention of emotional connection or sticking around, for that matter.

#9 The relationship with his girlfriend is boring

He finds you new and exhilarating. His current relationship is boring. Starting over the whole “getting to know a person phase” is exciting.

You can’t be sure that a guy like that will leave his girlfriend for you.

#10 Feels neglected by his girlfriend

His girlfriend may be neglecting him. He feels distant from her because she might work long hours, be busy with her career, or has school as her priority.

This is prevalent in long-distance relationships. Children can also be a reason that causes him to feel neglected. She may be busy raising their children. She may also spend more time with her family and friends than with him.

Whatever the reason, when a man feels neglected, he may look for attention in another woman’s arms. Someone who he would be able to talk to every day and who would appreciate his presence more.

#11 Being Sneaky or for fun

As bizarre as it may seem, some men cheat for fun. They do it for the thrill. Already, males have an urge for dominance and control, and these cheaters are senseless and deceptive.

Men like this are never content, always wanting more. They are thrill-seeking and lack security. They are using you for entertainment, not because they love you.

#12 You can provide something for him that his girlfriend doesn’t

You might be his boss, and he is looking for a promotion or raise, so he wants to be with you for it. This is common with male bosses and their female assistants, but it is usually the reverse. Most times, the boss is male, and the assistant is female.

Despite this scenario, there are quite a lot of other things that men want from women. Many of these things will bring him to the point where he will cheat on his girlfriend.

He would want you for many more reasons, even if he has a girlfriend. The list is endless. Once love fades, there is little that can keep a relationship together.

Love, trust, honesty, and connection are the glue to any relationship. Note that the bond is not kids, sexual contact, or material things.

Why Do Guys Flirt When They Are In A Relationship?


“Why do guys flirt with girls?” This question is expected. According to relationship expert Shallon Lester, it is because they can. It’s a matter of psychology.

Men are more the chasing type than women. They are the ones who will start a conversation. Many, if not all, women have experienced flirtatious behavior by a man. It is widespread. Yet many of these men are already in a relationship or married.

Many men flirt when they are already in a relationship. They do it because they are insecure and need constant validation. They like women to reassure them of how manly or handsome they are. They find acceptance from persons outside of their relationship.

Guys like that are attention-seekers. They are not looking for anything serious with you. They lack confidence, and maybe their girlfriends don’t compliment them enough.

Men usually use the excuse of having a friendly personality. You can be friendly without being flirtatious.

Ask The Expert

Q: Why Does a Guy Tell You He Has a Girlfriend?

Usually, when a guy tells you he has a girlfriend, it is because he isn’t interested in you. He wants you to leave him alone. You may have made a move on him, and he is letting you know that he is already taken.

Men with this reaction to girls who are flirting or trying to hook up with them are loyal. They have respect for their partner and don’t condone cheating.

A guy might tell you he has a girlfriend to tell you he doesn’t want to get into a serious relationship with you. Yes, this can be pretty disappointing.

It’s unfortunate if you already have developed feelings for the guy. Still, many like this lifestyle of no commitment. The younger generation refers to it as ‘flings’ or ‘situationships.’ If this is not your style and you want something more tangible, this may not appeal to you.

A person who cheats tells you a lot about who they are. Despite relationship issues, cheating is never the answer. It makes things worse. You should be careful if a guy tells you he has a girlfriend.

Q: Can a Guy Love You But Be With Someone Else?

Has he started a genuine and loving relationship with you? It could mean that his feelings for his girlfriend are fading. There is no way he can love his girlfriend and you the same. There must be more love for one than the other.

Most guys who cheat on their girlfriends have bad intentions. But not all. There are cases where the guy loves you. Yet, because of certain situations he is in, he cannot leave his girlfriend.

You may have met him before he entered into a relationship or even dated him prior. He may have still loved you, but he started a relationship with someone else because you could not be together for some reason.

It could be that you were not suitable for each other then. Now that you’ve reconnected, he realizes you are the one for him, even if it’s years later. Although this happens, what he does next tells much about his intentions with you.

Q: What Are The Signs He Will Leave His Girlfriend For You?

Being the other woman isn’t a nice feeling. Not being the center of his attention can make you feel unappreciated. It can make you feel unloved if he doesn’t show you off.

Men don’t leave their girlfriends but instead cheat for many reasons. Some of those reasons are valid, yet many are poor excuses.

The truth is that if he loves you, he will leave his girlfriend for you. Sometimes, circumstances might indeed prevent that from happening. But he will find a way if he is in love with you.


5 Reasons why he has not left his girlfriend for you.

#1 He doesn’t want to hurt his girlfriend’s feelings.

Women express their emotions more than men. They show what they feel, whereas men conceal their feelings. A woman’s fury can be scary, and men sometimes want to avoid the after-drama of a breakup.

#2 His girlfriend provides him with something that he likes or needs.

The thought of leaving his girlfriend makes him feel guilty. She may have done something for him or shared in memories that he treasures.

So instead of leaving her, he chooses to see you while he is with her. Or he might be living with his girlfriend, who provides housing or necessities. If he leaves, he will lose those things. So he takes advantage of what she gives or supplies him with and cheats on her with you.

#3 Family ties

His family loves his girlfriend and has already accepted her as theirs. His girlfriend’s and his family may also be close, and breaking up with her may complicate things.

#4 Religious difference

He could be of a different religion. Although he loves you, he fears his family will reject you if he introduces you to them.

#5 He doesn’t want to let her go.

A man who doesn’t want to break it off with his girlfriend and wants you is selfish. He wants to be with his girlfriend and you at the same time. He enjoys both of you and doesn’t want to give up one for the other.

3 Signs that he is willing to leave his girlfriend for you.

#1 Spends more time with you

You observe that he spends more time with you than his girlfriend. He is always with you or always there when you need him. He takes you on thoughtful dates and calls and messages you often.

#2 Talks about a future with you

When he talks about leaving his girlfriend for you and building a future together, he puts plans in place and may even give dates for when he will do it. Be aware, though, as action speaks louder than words. You should be seeing some progress or advancement in what he is saying.

#3 He has deep conversations with you.

He vents about his problems or talks to you about things he wouldn’t speak to others about when he talks to you about his day and cares about yours. Constant communication about an intimate or sensitive topic.