To fix a dry text conversation, asking open-ended questions and showing genuine interest is important.
Additionally, using humor, finding common ground, and suggesting a change in topic can help improve the conversation.
- Ask open-ended questions
- Show genuine interest
- Use humor or find common ground
- Suggest changing the topic
Whether you struggle with dry texting– or you’re the recipient of someone who dry texts- it’s frustrating to get stuck in this cycle.
You might feel like you’re responsible for the conversation going stale. But you also don’t want to be the one constantly initiating talk or forcing a connection that doesn’t seem to be there.
Fixing a dry text situation is relatively straightforward. Here are some strategies to fix a dry text conversation and keep the conversation going.
If you sense that a conversation is dying (or has already died), it may be time for some TLC. Here are some quick and easy steps for bringing life back to your texting:
- #1 Determine If It’s Situational
- #2 Understand Their Texting Preferences
- #3 Ask More Elaborate Questions
- #4 Talk About a Subject You Know They Like
- #5 Send Photos or Memes
- #6 Compliment Them
- #7 Ask For Their Opinion
- #8 Stop Responding So Quickly (Or Disconnect Altogether)
- #9 Only Reach Out One Message at a Time
- #10 Consider Changing The Topic
- #11 Flirt More
- #12 Address Your Feelings
- #13 Validate Times When They Don’t Dry Text
- #14 Consider If You Dry Text (And Work On It)
- #15 Spend More Time Together in Person
- #16 Try a Group Chat
- #17 Decide Your Limits
- Before You Go,
#1 Determine If It’s Situational
The first step in fixing a dry text conversation is distinguishing whether it’s a temporary issue or more of a chronic pattern. People dry text for many situational reasons, such as:
- Being busy
- Feeling stressed, angry, or sad
- Running out of things to say
- Having limited access to their phone
When it’s situational, the issue tends to resolve itself organically. But a chronic dry texter has a general disposition of being short, dismissive, or disengaged.
As a result, you often feel like you’re pulling teeth- getting anything out of them represents this monumental task.
These types of people are emotionally unavailable. No matter how close you want to be, they tend to keep others at a safe distance.
You should also determine whether they dry text everyone else. If so, it may mean they have underlying anxiety, shyness, or a general discomfort around texting.
But if they are more conversational with others, it could signify that they are less invested in you.
#2 Understand Their Texting Preferences
Not everyone has the same values when it comes to texting. Some people are glued to their phones throughout the day, constantly checking for updates.
Others are less reliant on technology- they might only check their phone when they’re genuinely free.
In addition, some people prefer other modes of communication over texting. For example, they might only want to have serious conversations face-to-face.
The best way to know? Ask! By drawing attention to the situation, you also make them more aware of both your feelings and their patterns.
#3 Ask More Elaborate Questions
Are you stuck in the habit of only asking simple, generic questions like, how was your day, or, what are you up to right now?
While these open-ended questions allow for creative responses, a dry texter might only reply with basic answers like, good, or, nothing really, you?
More elaborate questions basically require someone to answer thoughtfully. These might include:
- What was the worst part of your day today?
- What are you most looking forward to this weekend?
- How do you feel about the changes at work?
- Why did you go to the mall today?
Of course, no question is truly foolproof. If someone isn’t in the mood to talk, they probably won’t talk.
But getting into a mindset of asking creative, thought-provoking questions may yield more creative responses!
#4 Talk About a Subject You Know They Like
Do they love talking about their family? Or their passion for hiking? Maybe you know they’re binge-watching a certain series, and they can’t get enough of it.
People generally love discussing interesting things, so consider steering your conversation toward their preferences. This also shows that you’re attuned to them, which may encourage them to open up even more.
#5 Send Photos or Memes
Some people are more visual, so media-based content like photos, memes, or articles can freshen a stale conversation.
You can follow up with basic texts like, This made me think of our conversation the other day, or, Who does this remind you of?!
#6 Compliment Them
Who doesn’t like a genuine compliment? Feeling praised makes us feel good about ourselves and usually makes us feel more comfortable around others.
Compliments are most effective when they’re specific and time-sensitive. So, instead of saying, you’re so funny, you might say, You make me laugh so much. I had such a great time with you yesterday- I can’t believe how fast time flies when we’re together!
#7 Ask For Their Opinion
Most people like feeling needed, especially when the person needing them is someone they deeply care about.
Asking for their opinion shows that you value their intelligence and insight. You can ask something straightforward like, I’m stuck between these three shirts. Which one do you think I should buy?
But you can also ask deeper, meaningful questions like your thoughts about religion.
Remember that if you choose to ask someone’s opinion, you must be willing to listen to their thoughts actively.
If you try to challenge or discredit what they say, you send a strong message that you’re only interested in being right. This mentality can quickly make someone feel defensive, and it may cause them to return to their dry texting.
#8 Stop Responding So Quickly (Or Disconnect Altogether)
Although it’s not usually recommended to play games when flirting, you may be bombarding someone without realizing it. One of the best ways to tell is by slightly pulling back from the conversation.
Does the other person notice? Do they suddenly start reaching out more? If so, it could mean a few things. First, it means they care about you and notice the shift in behavior. But it could also mean they’re just playing the field and trying to keep their options open.
What is the best way to deal with this situation? Call them out on it! You can say something like, I don’t appreciate you reaching out only once I pull back a bit. It makes me wonder if you really care about me.
#9 Only Reach Out One Message at a Time
Even if you feel eager to determine why the other person is withdrawing from you, try to resist the urge to send too many texts in a row.
Send one message to initiate the conversation. Then, wait for the response.
Someone who cares about you will get back to you appropriately. They’ll immediately explain what took them so long if it takes a while. But you shouldn’t bully or annoy someone into texting you back. Doing so only comes across as clingy and insecure.
#10 Consider Changing The Topic
If you hit on a sensitive subject, someone might start dry texting as a way to avoid sharing their opinion or being vulnerable with you. The worst thing you can do in these situations is press for more information. People have a right to their privacy.
Instead, gently change the topic at an appropriate time. Or, if you feel like it’s reasonable, consider acknowledging your mistake by saying something like, I’m sorry for bringing that up. I hope I didn’t offend you by asking.
#11 Flirt More
If you’re talking to someone you like, getting more flirtatious over text can certainly spruce up the conversation. Don’t overthink it- consider how you can be a little bolder in your interactions.
For example, you might send a sexy selfie with the comment, Really wish you were here with me. Or, you could ask steamy questions like, If you were in my bed with me right now, what would you want to do?
#12 Address Your Feelings
Some dry texters are oblivious and don’t necessarily realize their habits’ impact on others. If they’re busy or stressed, they might be too focused on themselves to think about what they need.
You have every right to share how you feel about the situation. If dry texting represents a persistent pattern in your dynamic, it’s time to speak up.
You might initiate this conversation by saying something like, I notice that you are pretty short when you text me, and that it sometimes takes you days to get back to me. I find this frustrating, and I’d like to talk about it.
#13 Validate Times When They Don’t Dry Text
Positive reinforcement can go a long way, especially if someone tries to be more thorough in their conversation.
Don’t overdo it! You don’t want to infantilize someone you care about or make it seem like you judge their every word.
Instead, say something like, I’ve really enjoyed this conversation. I like talking to you a lot. We have so much in common! Or you could say, Your response really made me think. I appreciate you sharing that with me.
#14 Consider If You Dry Text (And Work On It)
We often mirror their communication habits when we text someone (especially if we like them romantically). Mirroring means that you subconsciously pick up on another person’s words, style, and tone, and you copy them when you talk back to them.
Someone might dry text you because they feel like you withhold or remain guarded around them. They don’t want to bother you or come across as clingy.
Here are some signs you may be a dry texter yourself:
- You often read messages but take several hours or days to respond
- You stop texting people when you get mad at them (without letting them know how you feel)
- You answer with as few words as possible
- You only answer one part of a text and don’t ask follow-up questions yourself
- You never initiate a texting conversation
- People have told you that you’re ‘hard to talk to’
Changing your texting habits takes intention, effort, and time. You may need to untangle yourself from preconceived notions about how a conversation should flow.
You might also need to take more risks in talking to others, particularly if you struggle with shyness, introversion, or social anxiety.
#15 Spend More Time Together in Person
If possible, try to spend more time together. Text conversations can become stale if you don’t have fresh material to reference.
Hanging out gives you a better perspective on the other person’s intentions and provides you with more content to talk about later when you’re talking.
#16 Try a Group Chat
If you two have mutual friends, you may encourage the other person to open up more if you invite them into the conversation.
Group chats shouldn’t replace intimate conversation, but they often take some of the pressure off. You can also observe how they act in the presence of others.
If you start a group chat, try to abide by this basic etiquette:
- Start a chat with people who already know each other (or be willing to do introductions)
- Center the conversation around a specific topic
- Don’t monopolize (give everyone a chance to share their opinion)
- Don’t start a second group chat to reference the first group chat (this is gossiping, and it’s rude!)
#17 Decide Your Limits
Dry texting can be frustrating, especially if you feel like things are always one-sided. If the other person continues to react with resistance, it may be time to revisit this relationship altogether.
Are your needs really being met? Or are you just perpetually frustrated?
Ultimately, it’s essential to consider what you value in either a platonic or romantic relationship. If having deep conversations is crucial to you, you might not get them from this person. Similarly, you may need to be the one who changes your expectations.
Either way, you can have personal boundaries and decide which relationships you want in your life.
Before You Go,
Dry texting can happen in any situation, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your fault or that you’re a boring person! All conversations have natural high and low points, so paying attention to overall trends is more important.
Fixing a dry text conversation shouldn’t be a complicated process. So, if it feels like you’re the one disproportionally putting in the effort, you may need to reassess the quality of your relationship.
If you want to know more about this topic, I can recommend the following articles:
- What is Dry Texting?
- How do you respond to dry texts?
- How To NOT Be a Dry Texter?
- How do you keep a girl interested over text?